I don’t often write about my personal life on this blog, but recently I learnt a valuable relationship lesson and wanted to share it with you…

As many of you know, my wife Bec and I recently had our first baby – a little boy named Luke. Those of you who are parents will also know that the first 10 weeks with a new born at home are both wonderful and challenging :-)

Having reached our 10 week milestone, I wanted to do something special for Bec, so I made reservations at a local French restaurant, and organised to drop Luke off at his Grandma’s place for 2 hours.

When we arrived at the restaurant it was very formal, and a bit stuffy, and while the food was good, by the end of the evening we didn’t really feel refreshed or relaxed as I had hoped – we just felt tired.

That night I lay in bed and thought about our night out, and realised that fancy restaurants really weren’t ‘our thing’. I then asked myself a very valuable question which was:

“What reenergises us as a couple?”

For Bec and I, the answer was ‘dancing’. We first got to know each other through swing dancing, so dancing has always been a special part of our life. However, I suddenly realised that we hadn’t danced for over a year! So I made the decision to start looking into dance classes.

Roadblock #1

The next morning I jumped online and looked up dance classes in our local area. Unfortunately the only suitable class was on Thursday nights at 9pm. This just wouldn’t work with Luke’s evening routine so it looked like a dead-end.

At this point it would have been really easy to say, “Oh well, we’ll just have to wait a few years”, but something told me not to give up.

Solution #1

I then did a Google search for ‘Swing dancing DVD’ thinking we might be able to teach ourselves. This led me to a site called iDance.net which offers over 1000 dance lessons from some of the best teachers in the world – I was SO excited!

I purchased a pack of lessons for $20 and downloaded them to my computer. Now all we needed was somewhere to dance…

Roadblock #2

Our floor at home is on a concrete slab so we needed to find somewhere with a wooden floor. After a bit more online sleuthing, I discovered that we could rent a local hall, but when I said we wanted to dance, I was told we’d need personal indemnity insurance which would cost over $1000!

Solution #2

Not wanting to give up, I typed ‘portable dance floor’ into Google and to my surprise I discovered that they did in fact exist.

I phoned one company but found they only catered for restaurants and large venues. My next stop was eBay, where to my delight, I found a small portable dance floor!

With our portable dance floor on the way, I called our local church and booked the parish community center for an hour on Sunday afternoon.

The Result

Last Sunday afternoon, we arranged for Luke’s aunty to take him for a walk in his pram, while Bec and I “went dancing” for the first time in a long time.

We set up our portable dance floor, had our personal instructors on my iPad and had an absolute ball learning a dance called the Collegiate Shag.

Here’s a picure of our ‘private dance studio’ :-)

The valuable relationship lesson I learnt from this experience was that as life gets busier and more complicated it is important to:

“Work Hard At Having Fun”

It would have been really easy to put dancing in the ‘too hard’ basket at the moment, but it was definitely worth pushing through the initial roadblocks and making fun a priority.

So today I’d like to encourage you to ask yourself the question, “What reenergises us as a couple?”, and take a moment to identify the activities that really recharge your batteries. (If you get stuck, think about the activities you used to do when you first met)

Then make the decision to ‘Work Hard At Having Fun’ and push through the roadblocks in your way to find at least an hour a week that is just for you as a couple.

But What If I’m Single?

If you’re single, just change the question to, “What reenergises me as a person?”, and once you’ve written down a list of activities that make you feel alive, make the decision to ‘Work Hard At Having Fun’ and push through the roadblocks you meet to find a little time for yourself.

For Bec and I, the simple act of identifying the activity that reenergises us as a couple, combined with the decision to work hard at having fun has brought the joy of dancing back into our lives.

I hope you find this idea useful and that you have as much fun as we now do on Sunday afternoons!

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr Anthony

For many years Jessi Turner had harbored a secret dream to start her own business, but every time she mentioned her idea to her friends, they would immediately highlight all the pitfalls of being a business owner, and advise her to stick with her day job.

One night as she was heading home on the train after work, Jessi read an article in a magazine that said that one of the most important aspects of achieving your goals in life was to increase the amount of time you spend with positive people, and decrease the amount of time you spend with negative people.

The only problem with this advice for Jessi was that the negativity she was dealing with was coming from some of her friends. It wasn’t as though she could just suddenly create a whole new circle of friends.

As Jessi thought about her situation more and more, she came up with a plan to reduce the negativity that was coming from those around her, and increase the level of positive energy in her life.

Here’s what she did…

Step 1: 

First, Jessi went into her Facebook News Feed and took a good hard look at what people were sharing. A few of her friends seemed to have a very negative view of the world and regularly complained about the day-to-day issues they were dealing with.

While Jessi did enjoy catching up with these friends every now and again, she realized she didn’t need to share their thoughts on a daily basis.

Rather than offending people by ‘unfriending’ them, Jessi discovered that it was very easy to hide people’s comments so they wouldn’t always appear in her news feed.

Step 2: 

Next Jessi asked herself the question,

“If I could get business advice from anyone in the world,
who would I select to be my advisors?”

In answer to this question, Jessi wrote down a list of the people she most admired in the world of business. This included a number of successful business owners, and several of her favourite authors.

Step 3: 

Jessi then jumped onto Facebook.com and Twitter.com and searched for each of the people on her list. To her surprise she discovered that many of them had a Facebook page and a Twitter Feed.

Jessi clicked the ‘Like’ button on each of their Facebook pages and followed them on Twitter. She also discovered that in Twitter she could group people together into a ‘List’ so she created a new List which she called “My Mastermind”

Over time Jessi monitored the input from the members of her new Virtual Mastermind group. If she didn’t get a lot of value from someone’s feed she ‘unliked’ their Facebook page and ‘unfollowed’ them on Twitter. She also ‘auditioned’ new people to join her Mastermind group whenever she came across them.

In this way Jessi gradually established a group of ‘virtual mentors’ whose ideas and comments made a big impact on the way she looked at the world.

By reducing the input of some of the more negative people in her life, and setting up her new Virtual Mastermind group, Jessi’s Facebook News Feed and Twitter Feed took on a whole new look and feel.

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher”
– Oprah Winfrey

Instead of reading about people’s problems and complaints every morning, she now began her day by catching up on what her more positive friends were up to, as well as reading a few valuable tips and thoughts from her Virtual Mastermind group.

This simple change to her Facebook and Twitter feeds had a huge impact on the way Jessi felt about starting her own business. The advice and inspiration from her Virtual Mastermind group gradually opened her mind to what was possible, and helped her to develop a real sense of belief in herself and her plans.

Today I’d like to encourage you to take a look at the input of the people you are currently connected to via Facebook and Twitter, and ask whether their thoughts and comments are helping you to achieve your most important goals in life.

If not, then consider creating your own Virtual Mastermind group by following the 3 simple steps outlined above. You can do this for any area of interest you have whether it’s health and fitness, business, photography etc.

When you surround yourself with the comments of your up-beat friends, and insights from your Virtual Mastermind group, you too will develop a positive attitude and a sense of personal belief that will compel you to take action and help you to make your dreams a reality.

And while I’m fairly new to the Facebook and Twitter scene, I think they provide a real opportunity for us to create a community of like-minded people who are taking action and achieving their dreams around the world.

If you’d like to be a part of this community, just click the link below to visit my Facebook page and click the ‘Like’ button.

Click here to visit Dr. Anthony’s Facebook page

Or you can click this button to follow me on Twitter.

Follow @AnthonyFernando

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

One of the most important steps to living a happy and fulfilling life is to understand the relationship between your sphere of control and your personal success.

You see, each one of us has our own sphere of control. Within this sphere are all the things that we have direct control over, such as whether or not you’ll watch TV tonight.

Outside of your sphere of control lie all the things that you have no direct control over, such as whether or not it will rain tomorrow.

Here’s an example that illustrates how your sphere of control relates to your success in life.

Clare and Sarah were both promising young pianists. With the encouragement of their piano teacher, they both decided to enter a national piano competition.

For Clare, there was only one acceptable outcome, and that was to win the competition. She imagined herself standing on the stage accepting the winner’s cheque and seeing her proud parents smiling in the audience.

In Clare’s mind, if she won the prestigious event then she would be a success. The only problem with this approach was that her definition of success was based on factors that were outside of her sphere of control.

Although she could control her preparation for the competition, she did not have direct control over the final result, because the winner would be chosen by a panel of judges.

Sarah however, took a very different approach. She viewed the competition as an opportunity to improve her technique and gain experience performing in public. She set herself a goal to put in a complete and total effort to prepare for the event, and decided to let the results take care of themselves. This goal was completely within Sarah’s sphere of control.

In the lead up to the event, both Clare and Sarah put in many long hours of arduous practice, and when the day of the competition finally dawned, both girls were ready to perform.

As Clare sat in the second row of the auditorium waiting to go on stage, her stomach was a tight knot of apprehension. For Clare – this was it… The next fifteen minutes would determine whether she would succeed or fail.

In an adjacent row Sarah also sat waiting to perform. While she was nervous, she also felt a quiet sense of calm and purpose. Sarah knew in her heart of hearts that she had done everything within her control to prepare for the competition and this gave her a real sense of satisfaction and peace of mind.

By the end of the evening, Clare and Sarah had both performed extremely well, however, when the Master of Ceremonies read out the names of the winners, neither of their names was on the list.

For Clare this came as a devastating shock. Based on her definition of success – she had failed. Her self esteem was shattered and from that day forward she continually questioned her ability as a pianist. A few years later, Clare gave up playing the piano entirely and turned her attention towards other pursuits in life.

For Sarah on the other hand, the results of the piano competition were not a traumatic disappointment. In preparing for the event, she had indeed improved her technique enormously. Based on her definition, the competition had been a resounding success.

In the years that followed, Sarah continued to enjoy playing the piano and eventually established a thriving business teaching young children how to play.

“Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” – John Wooden

The important point to take away from this story is that if you define success based on things that are outside of your sphere of control such as competition results, then you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of disappointment and failure.

However, if you learn to define success based on things that lie within your sphere of control such as your personal effort, then you can once again take charge of your own success.

This does not mean that you become complacent and just accept what life brings your way. On the contrary, it means that you set goals, go after them with all your heart, and when you have put in a complete and total effort you take pride in knowing that you really have done your best.

When you adopt this approach to achieving your goals you will maximise your results and be well on your way to creating a life filled with self-satisfaction and peace of mind.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

On Thursday 28th June, at 6.53pm, my wife Bec and I welcomed our little boy Luke Sebastian Fernando into the world.

Since returning home I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a family, and specifically what it will mean to Luke to be part of our family.

Last week, in between changing nappies, I investigated the origin of our family name ‘Fernando’ and discovered that it has Spanish/Portuguese roots. I also learnt that the name is based on two spanish words ‘fard’ and ‘nand’ which mean ‘Journey’ and ‘Daring’. Perhaps that’s why I decided to name this newsletter ‘Dare To Dream’ :)

In researching our family coat of arms I discovered that it was common practice for families to add a motto to a traditional coat of arms to make it more personal. This got me to thinking – “What would we want our family motto to be?”

I discussed this with Bec and we decided to develop out own family motto. To do this we initially brainstormed a list of words that we each thought were important and then decided that we would narrow it down to the three specific words that would best encapsulate what was most important to us as a family.

After a wonderful discussion, the words we decided on were: LOVE, INTEGRITY, ADVENTURE.

I then combined our new family motto with a traditional coat of arms related to the Fernando family name to create the following:

While the coat of arms is really just a bit of fun as I can’t be 100% sure of its historical accuracy, what was really valuable was sitting down with Bec and talking about the values that would be important for our family.

So today, I’d like to encourage you to think about developing your own family motto. If you’re not married you can still do this exercise to create a personal motto that describes who you really want to be.

Here’s what to do:

1. Brainstorm a list of words that represent what’s important to you.

2. Go through your list and decide which three words best encapsulate what you feel is most important for you or your family.

3. For a bit of fun, jump on Google and see if you can find a traditional coat of arms related to your family name.

Remember the important part of this exercise is not actually the coat of arms, but rather, the discussion you have with your partner to decide what you want your central family values to be.

Until next time, from myself, Bec and Luke,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

As a new manager in a multinational corporation, Donna Peterson’s main focus in life was to prove that she had the skills and talent necessary to succeed in a male dominated industry.

After graduating from Harvard, summa cum laude, and completing her MBA at the Stanford school of business, Donna was confident in her knowledge and ability.

However, even with a strong academic background, Donna’s first year as a manager was tough.

While she tried to apply the principles she’d learnt at college, the members of her team were extremely resistant to change. Also, a number of the older team members continually questioned Donna’s authority and actively tried to undermine her.

By the time of her annual performance review, Donna was stressed, unhappy and was starting to question whether she really did have the street smarts necessary to succeed in the business world.

As she sat nervously in the waiting room at head office, Donna prepared to defend herself against the criticisms that she knew were in store.

At exactly 9am, the board room doors opened and an immaculately dressed woman in her mid fifties emerged. Her name was Karen Whitaker and within the company she was something of a living legend.

Karen greeted Donna warmly, and with an air of smooth authority, led her to a corner office that overlooked the bay. After the preliminaries of the annual review were out of the way, Karen quickly got down to business.

“Donna, I know that you’re doing your best and that you’re trying really hard. In fact, in a lot of ways, you remind me of myself when I started out in this business.” This made Donna smile. It was nice to hear that someone knew how hard she was trying.

“I’m going to give you one piece of advice that I’d like you to follow for the next six months. WIll you do that for me?”

“Of course I will” replied Donna expectantly.

“I want you to stop focusing on PROVING yourself, and start focusing on IMPROVING yourself”

“Umm, OK” replied Donna hesitantly.

“Let me explain” continued Karen, “When you focus on proving yourself, you always try and defend your position and demonstrate that you already have all the answers. However, when you focus on improving yourself, you begin to open yourself up to new ideas and feedback.”

“I think I understand Karen, and I’ll do my best. Thank-you”

When she returned to work, Donna took a piece of paper, and in permanent marker she wrote herself a sign that said, “Stop trying to PROVE yourself – Start trying to IMPROVE yourself”.

She then placed this sign in her top drawer so that she would see it regularly. Over the next six months, this single idea had an incredible impact on Donna’s life at work.

Instead of trying to prove that the theories she’d learnt at college were correct, and that she had all the answers, Donna began talking to other managers and touching base with Karen on a regular basis to improve her understanding of how the company worked in the real world.

She also began reading widely and listening to audiobooks to improve her knowledge of the industry she worked in. She was amazed at how fast things were moving and realised how important it was to stay in touch with emerging ideas.

On a practical level, one of the most useful things Donna did in response to Karen’s advice was to create a special file on her computer called ‘Lessons Learned’

Every time she picked up a useful idea or a gold nugget of advice, she would jot it down in her ‘Lessons Learned’ document. She then reviewed this document once a month to make sure that she was implementing these ideas into her life.

Another major change in Donna’s approach was her response to feedback. In the past her reaction to negative feedback was to fight back and defend herself in order to prove that the negative feedback was unjustified.

Now, with her focus on improving herself, she looked forward to all feedback – good OR bad. When she received negative feedback she now looked at it as a chance to grow and build her skills.

Donna’s new focus also had a big impact on the dynamics of her team. Instead of always trying to prove that she was in charge and knew what was best, she now asked the members of her team for their input before making important decisions.

This was not however the same thing as making decisions by committee. Donna still made the final call, but now everyone in the team felt that they had the opportunity to contribute.

But perhaps best of all, Donna no longer carried the weight of trying to prove that she was perfect all the time.

Her new focus on improving herself allowed her to admit that she sometimes made mistakes and also allowed her to ask for help when she needed it.

So today I’d like to encourage you to apply Karen’s advice to your own life.

Here’s what to do:

1. Stop focusing on PROVING yourself and start focusing on IMPROVING yourself.

2. Instead of defending your current knowledge, find ways to continually increase your levels of understanding and grow as a person.

3. Instead of becoming defensive and fighting against negative feedback, embrace feedback of all kinds and use it to get better.

4. Create a document called ‘Lessons Learned’ and every time you discover a gold nugget of advice, write it down and review your collection regularly.

5. Stop trying to be perfect. Give yourself permission to learn from your mistakes and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

When you get lost while driving, one of the most useful devices to have on hand is a Global Positioning System (GPS). All you have to do is punch in your intended destination, and your GPS goes into action. Using orbiting satellites, it figures out your exact location, and then calculates the best way for you to get to your objective.

Each time you come to a fork in the road, your GPS will tell you which way to go, and if you accidentally take a wrong turn, the unit will automatically recalculate a new route to quickly get you back on track.

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a GPS device that could help us get our life back on track when we get a little lost?

Well, in fact – there is, and here’s how it works…

Susan stared at her reflection in the mirror and slowly shook her head. She was 34 years old, but here she was – back in the bedroom she’d grown up in as a little girl.

The last six months had been an awful blur. The court hearings, the bitter arguments, the divorce…After a tumultuous three year marriage, she’d finally found the courage to walk away from a dangerous situation.

Although she was grateful for her parent’s love and support, Susan felt very alone and more than a little lost.

After another day of watching reruns of Friends and eating chips on the couch, Susan needed to get out of her parent’s house. She volunteered to take their dog Milo for a walk and hoped that the fresh air might help clear her head.

As she walked slowly through the park, Susan heard music playing and noticed a large group of women wearing blue T-shirts. There was obviously something going on, and Susan was drawn towards their laughter and clapping.

From a distance, Susan observed that the women had just completed an 8 mile fun run called ‘Run For The Kids’. They were celebrating their efforts together and each time another woman crossed the finish line, the entire group broke into cheers and welcomed the newcomer with a hug and a drink.

As Susan watched, she felt a deep yearning inside. After all the anxiety of the last six months, she longed to be part of something, and to have just one thing in her life that she could actually control.

Standing amidst the Autumn leaves in the park, Susan made a decision that would change the course of her life – she set herself a goal to participate in the next ‘Run For The Kids’ in twelve months time.

On one level this decision really didn’t make any sense at all. Susan had never been a runner. In fact she had always avoided exercise, and had struggled with her weight for many years.

However, on another level her decision made a lot of sense.

After feeling lost for so long, setting a specific goal that she could control was the mental equivalent of finding a GPS unit that could once again give her life a sense of direction.

The act of committing to her new goal was a lot like programming in a destination into a satellite system. Instead of continuing to drift through life, she now had a target to work towards.

With this new destination in mind, Susan realised that in order to reach her objective, she would need to make some changes to her lifestyle.

She began walking regularly and became a lot more conscious about what she was eating. In this way her new goal helped her to stay on track and continually pointed her in the right direction.

Occasionally, Susan did miss a training session or slipped up on her diet, but in the same way that a GPS unit recalculates your route, Susan’s goal made her reevaluate her actions and quickly get back on track.

What Susan didn’t expect was the incredible snowball effect that her simple goal had on the rest of her life. As time passed, she got to know some of the women she had watched in the park the year before and created a whole new circle of friends.

She also found out more about ‘The Run For The Kids’, and discovered that it was a fundraising event for the Royal Children’s Hospital, and it made her feel great to be doing something to raise money for such a good cause.

Twelve months after setting her impromptu goal, Susan was once again in the park, but this time she was wearing a blue shirt and jogging towards the finish line.

As she passed under the finishing banner, a chorus of clapping and cheers erupted from her friends in blue who had been awaiting her arrival. Amidst the hugs and the high fives, Susan felt an incredible surge of pride and contentment – She had arrived at her destination.

So today, if you’re feeling a little lost, I’d like to encourage you to find and set one specific goal that is within your control.

Having a specific goal in life gives you something to focus on, and provides you with the direction and guidance you need get your life back on track. You’ll also find that pursuing your goal often causes a snowball effect that will end up taking you places you’ve never imagined.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream
Dr. Anthony

In today’s hectic society, many people live in a whirlwind frenzy trying to juggle the demands of full-time work with their family obligations and commitments. If you’re like most people, at the end of a stressful day, all you want to do is just crash on the couch and relax.

However, the only problem with this strategy is that zoning out in front of the TV rarely delivers the feelings of relaxation that you’re looking for.

According to the latest research, the least effective strategies for stress relief are watching TV or movies for several hours, gambling, shopping, smoking, drinking, eating, playing video games, and surfing the Internet.

The reason that these activities don’t deliver stress relief is because they activate the area of your brain that deals with cravings and desire. Instead of relaxing, you get caught up in the anticipation of what’s going to happen in the next episode of your TV show, or you want to keep playing that computer game to see what the next level is like.

After a couple of hours of ‘relaxing’ in this way your brain is more wired than ever, and you decide that the only way to relax is to go to sleep. However, often that doesn’t work either because after all that mental stimulation – you just can’t switch off.

So what’s the answer? How do you disconnect from the stress of your day, and genuinely relax and restore your energy levels?

Well, the American Psychological Association suggests that the most effective activities for relieving stress are:

1. Exercising and playing sport
2. Praying or attending a religious service
3. Reading
4. Listening to music
5. Spending time with friends or family
6. Having a massage
7. Going for a walk in the outdoors
8. Meditating or doing yoga
9. Pursuing a creative hobby

These activities have been shown to release feel good chemicals in your brain such as serotonin and oxytocin, and actively lower your stress levels.

For example, Fiona is a nurse who works in a neonatal intensive care unit. On a daily basis she deals with emergency situations involving the lives of newborn babies. Often when she finishes her shift she is completely stressed out and running on pure adrenaline.

For a long time, Fiona didn’t know what to do to deal with the stress of her job. She tried crashing in front of the television, but after two hours of reality TV, she didn’t feel relaxed, she just felt numb.

When she read about the activities that promote effective stress relief, Fiona liked the idea of taking up a creative hobby.

She recalled that as a little girl she used to visit her Grandma during school holidays, and while they sat in front of an open fireplace, her Grandma taught her how to knit.

In a flash of inspiration, Fiona came up with the perfect plan.

Whenever she got home from the hospital and needed to relax, instead of switching on the TV, Fiona would put on some soft jazz music, take out her basket of wool and start to knit.

There was something almost therapeutic about the rhythm of her knitting needles, and she found it was a great way to clear her head and relax.

And of course, Fiona knew exactly what she wanted to knit – baby hats.

While she was initially a bit rusty, her childhood skills quickly returned, and soon Fiona was able to complete a baby hat in a single evening.

Not only did Fiona discover an effective way to reduce her stress levels, but every time a baby left the intensive care unit to go home with their family, Fiona gave them a hand knitted little hat. The parents loved the hats, and Fiona discovered the joy of giving without expecting anything in return.

So today I’d like to encourage you to take a look at how YOU deal with stress.

If you’ve been using an ineffective strategy in the past, make the decision to try one of the options listed above, which have been been scientifically proven to promote true relaxation.

When you find a strategy that works for you, you’ll be much better equipped to deal with the stresses of daily life.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

When the midwife placed his daughter into his arms for the first time, Thomas Saunders was overwhelmed with emotion. Through tears of joy, he looked down at his little girl and made a silent promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to provide for his new family.

As a result of his promise, Thomas began working harder than he had ever worked before. He volunteered for unpopular shifts, clocked up as much overtime as possible and tried to do whatever he could to make a good impression with his boss.

After 6 months of hard work, his initiative paid off and he received a promotion to assistant manager. This meant a jump in salary, and a great deal of extra responsibility.

To help him prepare for his new position, Thomas was invited to attend a two-day ‘New Manager’ seminar at head office.

On the second day of the seminar, Thomas attended a lecture delivered by a consultant from the FranklinCovey Institute. Little did Thomas know that this 1-hour presentation would change his life.

After a brief preamble, the presenter asked for a volunteer from the audience. Thomas raised his hand and was invited onto the stage.

On a table in the center of the stage, the presenter had placed a large glass bowl. Next to the bowl were three sizeable rocks and a wooden bowl containing a pile of small pebbles.

The presenter informed the audience that the glass bowl represented Thomas’s life. He then asked Thomas to nominate the three most important things in his life. Thomas paused for a moment and then replied, “My family, my health, and my work.”

“Great” replied the presenter and wrote these items onto the large rocks with a permanent marker.

Next, the presenter picked up the wooden bowl containing the pebbles and poured them into the bowl until it was three quarters full. He explained that the small stones represented the many trivial tasks that all too often fill up our days.

The presenter then asked Thomas to try to add the large rocks to the bowl.

Thomas placed the first rock into the bowl but then quickly realized that it was physically impossible to add the remaining rocks into the already crowded bowl.

“It’s just not possible” said Thomas after struggling for five minutes.

The presenter then lifted a second empty glass bowl onto the table and said, “OK, lets try a different approach”

He asked Thomas to place the large rocks into the second empty bowl, which Thomas did with ease.

“OK Thomas, now I want you to pour the small rocks from the first glass bowl into the second bowl”.

Thomas picked up the first bowl, which was half filled with small stones and carefully began pouring them into the second bowl, which now contained his large rocks.

With a loud clatter, the small stones flowed around the large rocks and filled every nook and crevice.

To his amazement, Thomas was able to pour all the small stones into the second bowl and then pat them level.

The presenter then turned to the audience and said, “The take home lesson from this experiment is that in order to fit everything into your busy lives as a new manager, you will need to put your big rocks in place first. Everything else will then take care of itself.”

Thomas paused for a moment, and then suddenly the true significance of the experiment he had just taken part in hit him like a sledgehammer.

For the last six months he had been focusing on his career in order to ‘provide’ for his family. However, in doing so he had spent very little actual time with his wife and little daughter.

As he drove home that night, he wrestled with his conflicting thoughts. He still wanted to do well in his career in order to meet the needs of his family, but he now also wanted to make sure that he put his big rocks in place first.

By the time he pulled into his driveway, Thomas had come up with a plan.

Here’s what he did:

Thomas discussed the seminar with his wife and told her that he realized how busy he was going to be as an assistant manager and he wanted to make sure that he put his family first.

He then found a wall calendar and together, he and his wife went through the twelve months ahead and blocked out one weekend per month as ‘Family Time’.

They aimed to make it the first weekend of the month, but occasionally had to reschedule it around important occasions such as family birthdays and weddings.

After marking their Family Time on a wall calendar, they copied the dates across to the calendars on their mobile phones.

This simple exercise took less than 20 minutes, but it had an enormous impact on Thomas’ life.

By putting the ‘big rock’ of his family into his schedule first, an amazing thing started to happen…

In the months that followed, whenever Thomas referred to his diary to schedule work events or social engagements, he came across his ‘Family Time’ entrees and – planned around them.

In the same way that the small stones had flowed around the large rocks in the glass bowl experiment, Thomas’ external commitments and obligations began flowing around his ‘Family Time’ weekends.

Thomas and his wife began looking forward to their ‘Family Time’ as a way to take a break from their hectic day-to-day lives and reconnect as a family.

When their budget allowed it, they would go away for the weekend, but many of their best ‘Family Time’ weekends were spent at home, going on picnics, exploring local markets and having movie marathons.

Putting his family rock into his schedule first helped Thomas lock in his priorities, and made a big difference to the quantity and quality of time he spent with his wife and little girl.

Today, I’d like to encourage you to give this simple ‘Family Time’ system a go. My wife Bec and I now lock in our family time on the first day of each New Year, and it’s been one of the best things we’ve ever done.

If a whole weekend per month doesn’t fit in with your schedule, perhaps you can start with a monthly ‘Family Day’.

Give it a try and I hope you enjoy your ‘Family Time’ as much as we do.

Until Next Time,
Dare To Dream
Dr. Anthony

As children we each begin our lives with an incredible gift – The gift of an Open Mindset. We truly believe that we can do, be, or have ANYTHING.

If someone asks us what we want to be when we grow up, we tell them that we want to be a palaeontologist and archaeologist, who is also a part-time astronaut and professional soccer player.

However, as we ‘grow up’ people and circumstances begin to impose limits on our thinking, and all too often we lose our open mindset, and instead adopt a closed mindset that stifles our growth and prevents us from reaching our full potential.

For example, as a boy Luke loved to draw. Most of all he loved to draw animals. He would spend hours with his sketchbook and a box of crayons, happily drawing horses, birds and lions.

His parents encouraged his efforts and when he was seven they took him to an art class run by a gruff old woman named Mrs. Dubrovsky who was a ‘professional’ artist.

Each week, Mrs. Dubrovsky set up a collection of bottles, glasses and fruit on a table and told her students to draw them. Luke did his best but he really wasn’t interested in drawing fruit – he wanted to draw lions.

By the end of the semester, his interest had waned. On the last day of term, he overheard Mrs Dubrovsky tell his mother that, “Luke does not have the temperament required to be an artist.” In that instant, Luke’s mindset slammed shut like a prison door. His teacher had said that he couldn’t be an artist so… he stopped drawing.

This could be the end of the story, but fortunately, as an adult, Luke discovered a powerful 5-step process to unlock his fixed mindset and reconnect with his childhood passion.

Step 1: Refuse to accept the limitations imposed on you by other people

It took over 35 years, but eventually Luke came to the realisation that Mrs Dubrovsky was NOT a world-renowned artist, but rather, just a local art teacher who had no idea how to nurture children’s passion for art.

Luke made the conscious decision to reject her assessment of his ability, and reconnect with his desire to draw, which had lain dormant in his heart for so many years.

Step 2: Make Time to DO

Luke’s next step was to find time to pursue his passion. Now 42, he was extremely busy juggling the demands of his work and family. However when he examined his weekly timetable carefully, he discovered that he had two hours to himself every Thursday evening, when his wife took their daughter to piano lessons. He decided to dedicate this time to drawing and painting.

Step 3: Make Time to LEARN

Luke also realised the importance of continuous learning. He would have loved to book into a regular art class, but he just didn’t have the time, so instead he picked up a copy of the book ‘Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain’ and took it to work with him.

During his lunch break, he found a quite spot and read the book and worked through the exercises. He was amazed at the progress he made, and this quickly became a highpoint of his day.

Step 4: Select Your Teachers with Care

After his childhood experience with Mrs Dubrovsky, Luke realised the importance of selecting the right teacher for each stage of his journey. After completing the ‘Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain’ book, Luke purchased a DVD by wildlife artist Joe Weatherly.

After learning a great deal in his own time, and developing his skill through consistent practise, eventually Luke was ready to find an art teacher. He talked with many professional artists and eventually found someone who he respected and enjoyed spending time with.

Over the next two years, his new teacher helped Luke take his drawing and painting to a whole new level.

Step 5: Enjoy the Journey and the Destination

Even though Luke was starting to draw later in life, he was not disappointed by his early efforts. He did not see learning to draw as a painful journey that would eventually lead to something he could enjoy.

On the contrary, he derived an incredible sense of joy from the process of learning. Every time he picked up a pencil and started drawing he felt a stirring in his heart and a sense that he was FINALLY doing what he was meant to do.

Five years after making the decision to start drawing again, Luke held his first exhibition at a local gallery.

Not only was he proud of the wildlife paintings that hung on the gallery walls, he was also proud of the fact that he had overcome the childhood limitations imposed on him by Mrs Dubrovsky.

Today I’d like to encourage you to adopt an open mindset and understand that no matter what has happened in the past, you CAN achieve your most important goals in life, if you are willing to put in the time and effort required to bring them to fruition.

All you have to do is:

1. Reject the limitations imposed on you by others and decide exactly what it is that YOU want to be good at
2. Find the time to DO
3. Find the time to LEARN
4. Select your teachers carefully
5. Enjoy the journey and the destination

By following this 5-step plan, you can overcome longstanding limitations, tap into the optimism of your youth, and ultimately become the person you were always meant to be.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

After booking her dream holiday, Emily pushed open the door of the travel agent’s office, glanced down at her wristwatch and rushed back to work.

Later that evening she caught up with a few friends for dinner and mentioned her trip to her old school friend Amy.

“Wow – You must be so excited!” said Amy.

“ Yeah but… it’s SO far away at the moment it’s kinda a bit depressing ” replied Emily.

To make sure that she didn’t get disheartened by the fact that her trip was still six months away, Emily made a conscious effort to put it out of her mind and just focus on her work.

The only problem with this approach was that it worked a little too well!

Two weeks before her trip, Emily bumped into Amy at the supermarket.

“So are you looking forward to your big adventure?” asked Amy.

“Yeah but… I’ve got SO much to do before I go – it’s crazy!“ replied Emily.

“I’m trying to get the new girl at work up to speed, which means I’m training her most of the day and still doing a full case load myself. Then I have to finalize my accommodation, sort out my credit cards, find someone to look after my cat, redirect my mail, and I haven’t even started thinking about packing!”

Emily’s last two weeks were a hectic blur of activity that left her feeling exhausted.

But finally – she was away…

Having waited so long for her trip, Emily was determined that she wasn’t going to miss anything. During her flight, she created a long list of things to see and do in each city she was visiting.

When she reached her first port of call, she was a woman on a mission.

Each morning she checked her list over breakfast and then got started. When she arrived at an attraction, she took lots of photos, had a quick look around and then immediately moved on to the next item on her list.

If she got delayed or wasn’t able to tick off everything on her list, Emily became frustrated by the interruption to her tight schedule.

By the end of her trip, Emily had crossed off almost every item on her list and taken over 800 photos, but she couldn’t help feel as though something was missing.

Emily felt as though she’d been on a sightseeing rollercoaster and now suddenly the ride was over and it was time to return to her normal life.

She had hoped that she’d feel rested and reenergised by her holiday, but instead she felt tired and grumpy.

When she returned to work and people asked about her trip, Emily replied that it had been fantastic and showed off some of her photos of famous landmarks. But somehow these landmarks already seemed like a distant dream.

That night, Emily lay in bed and tried to figure out why she was feeling so low. She’d just been on her dream holiday – why did she feel so frustrated and empty – what had she missed?

—

What Emily had missed on her holiday was an understanding of what creates true enjoyment in life. As this story illustrates, we can often get so caught up in our desire to record and capture our experiences that we forget to actually LIVE those experiences.

To help you avoid this trap, here is a simple but powerful three-part ‘Recipe for Enjoyment’ that can make a profound impact on the way you see and appreciate the world around you.

Ingredient #1: Embrace the thrill of anticipation

The first ingredient in the Recipe for Enjoyment is to embrace the thrill of anticipation. Instead of blocking things out of your mind, take the time to explore, investigate and anticipate upcoming events.

For example, instead of ignoring her trip for 5 months, Emily could have read about the culture and history of the places she was going to visit. This would have greatly increased her sense of anticipation and given her a much deeper understanding and appreciation of the attractions she was visiting.

Ingredient #2: Take time to stop and enjoy the moment

The second ingredient in the Recipe for Enjoyment is to always take time to stop, and just enjoy the moment. For example, Emily would have had a very different holiday if she had put her camera away for a few days, slowed down and really connected with the people and places she was visiting.

Ingredient #3: Reminisce about your experiences

When we reminisce, talk and write about our experiences we reinforce the neural pathways in our mind associated with those experiences and make them more vivid and real. Over time, this process of active reminiscing helps us to create fond memories that can last a lifetime.

For example, if Emily took her best photos and loaded them into a digital photo frame, they would continually remind her of her trip.
Additionally she could take the time to write an account of her trip while it is still fresh in her mind. In years to come, this travel diary would become more and more valuable and would help her to develop fond memories that she could treasure forever.

This Recipe for Enjoyment is not however limited to major events such as overseas holidays. It can also be used to improve your enjoyment of simple day-to-day events.

For example, imagine for a moment that your daughter’s first ballet recital was coming up in two weeks.

Here’s how you might use the Recipe for Enjoyment to increase your whole family’s level of enjoyment of the event.

Embrace the thrill of anticipation

To increase the level of anticipation of your daughter’s ballet performance, perhaps you could hire a dvd of a ballet and watch it together as a family.

You could then talk about how exciting it would be to be a performer on stage in front of an appreciative audience.

If you are positive and genuinely excited about the event, your anticipation will become infectious and your daughter’s dance concert will be a much more significant family event.

Take time to stop and enjoy the moment

When you arrive at your daughter’s concert, instead of watching the entire event through the viewfinder of a camera, you could take a few shots before the performance and then put your camera away and really be present in the moment.

It is often when we stop and reflect in a quiet moment that we create a memory that lasts a lifetime.

Reminisce about your experiences

After the ballet recital you might stop off at a diner and chat about the performance and how your daughter felt about it.

Later in the week you could invite grandma and grandpa over to watch the DVD of the recital. You could also print out one of the photos you took and have it framed.

Each of these actions will help both you and your daughter to reminisce about the event and solidify happy memories that can last forever.

As this example demonstrates, by following the Recipe for Enjoyment you can triple your enjoyment of any event in your life.

First you enjoy the anticipation of the event.

Then you take time to stop and enjoy the event itself.

And finally you enjoy reminiscing about the event.

So today I’d like to encourage you to use this simple recipe in your own life for both major and minor events, because when you increase your enjoyment of the events in your life, you increase your enjoyment of life itself.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

Every morning you wake up, climb out of bed and get ready for the day ahead. After having a shower, getting dressed and doing your hair, you most probably stand in front of the mirror and do a quick final check before you walk out the door to face the world.

It is in that moment when you are looking at yourself in the mirror each morning that you can add a simple two-minute process that can change your life.

Imagine for a moment, that next to your mirror hangs a heart shaped amulet.

This amulet is an Attitude Amulet.

Your Attitude Amulet has two faces. It has a golden face, which represents a positive attitude, and a dark face, which represents a negative attitude.

Each morning you place your Attitude Amulet around your neck and decide which face of the amulet you are going to show to the world.

When you display the positive face of your Attitude Amulet to the world, you focus on what you really want from life. You have positive expectations of the day ahead, and you are open to connecting and interacting with others.

On the other hand, when you display the negative face of your Attitude Amulet to the world, you tend to focus on the problems in your life. You have negative expectations of the day ahead, and you close yourself off from connecting and interacting with others.

Although your Attitude Amulet is invisible to the naked eye, everyone you come into contact with during the day instantly knows which side of the amulet you have on display.

Another important aspect of your Attitude Amulet is that it is strongly magnetic.

When you display the positive face of your amulet to the world, it attracts people who have a positive attitude and repels people who have a negative attitude.

Conversely, when you have the negative face of your Attitude Amulet on display, it attracts people who have a negative attitude and repels people who have a positive attitude.

Let’s take a look at an example to see how this works in the real world.

Cathy’s Day – Take 1

Cathy opened her eyes with a groan and reached out and turned off her alarm clock with a slap. She dragged herself out of bed and was still half asleep as she had a shower.

The warm water helped her wake up properly and she proceeded to get ready for the day. Once she had dressed, tied up her hair and applied her make up, she paused and did a final check in the mirror.

Without thinking, she reached over, picked up her Attitude Amulet and placed it over her head, not noticing that the dark face of the amulet was facing the world.

In the car on the way to work, Cathy thought about all the problems she was currently dealing with. There were the issues at work with her manager, her brother’s financial mess, and the fact that her last date had been a complete disaster.

As she reviewed this litany of problems, she worked herself into a negative frame of mind and was not looking forward to the day ahead.

At work, Cathy caught the elevator to the 12th floor, and avoided making eye contact with anyone as she made her way to her cubicle.

She dumped her bag under her desk, switched on her computer and stared glumly at the pile of claim forms that she needed to process by the end of the day.

After checking her emails, Cathy decided she needed a coffee to kick start her day. On the way to the coffee machine she bumped into her friend Rachel, who said, “Hey Cath, the girls and I are just going to the cafeteria, do you want to come?”

Cathy just didn’t feel like company so she replied, “No, I better get stuck into my work. I’ll catch up with you later.”

At the coffee machine, Cathy met another of her workmates named Wendy.

“Another fun-filled day of claims forms ahead?” asked Wendy.

“Yep, can’t wait” replied Cathy sarcastically.

They picked up their coffee and talked about the latest ridiculous decision their manager had made as they made their way back to their desks.

Cathy then faced a long, tiresome day of processing claim forms before going home and zoning out in front of the television.

Cathy’s Day – Take 2

Cathy opened her eyes and reached out and turned off her alarm clock. She pulled herself out of bed and was still half asleep as she had a shower.

The warm water helped her wake up properly and she proceeded to get ready for the day. Once she had dressed, tied up her hair and applied her make up, she paused and did a final check in the mirror.

She reached over, picked up her Attitude Amulet and placed it over her head making sure that the positive face of the amulet was facing the world. She smiled at her reflection and headed out the door.

In the car on the way to work, Cathy focused on what she was going to do with the day ahead, and set herself a goal of completing all her claim forms by lunchtime so she could chat to her manager. She also wanted to organise to catch up with her brother, and investigate the ‘Meet at Dinner’ dating website her friend had told her about.

At work, Cathy caught the elevator up to the 12th floor, and smiled at several people as she made her way to her cubicle.

She slid her bag under her desk, flicked on her computer, looked down at her pile of claim forms waiting to be processed and said under her breath, “OK – You guys are going down!”

On the way to get a coffee, Cathy bumped into her friend Rachel, who said, “Hey Cath, the girls and I are just going to the cafeteria, do you want to come?”

“Sure thing” replied Cathy. She walked past her workmate Wendy with a nod, and joined Rachel and the others.

In the cafeteria, Rachel announced that she was pregnant and Cathy and the other girls were incredibly excited and happy for her.

After an exciting morning coffee, Cathy was in a great mood and ploughed through her work in record time.

She felt good about having been so productive and ended up having a fantastic day.
—

As this example illustrates, each morning we each have the option to decide which face of our Attitude Amulet we are going to show to the world. This single decision has a huge impact on how our day unfolds and ultimately the kind of life we lead.

So today I want to encourage you to add a simple two-minute process to your morning routine. When you complete your final visual check in the mirror, imagine picking up your Attitude Amulet and placing it over your head.

Make the conscious decision to have the positive face of your amulet on show, and use this as a reminder to focus on what you really want from life, have positive expectations of the day ahead and be open to connecting and interacting with others.

Until Next Time,

Dare To Dream
Dr. Anthony

Do you ever feel like the whole world wants a piece of you?

Your sister wants you to babysit her kids, your father-in-law wants you to set up his computer, your friends want you to help with the Kindergarten fundraiser, and at work your manager wants you to complete a two-week project in three days…

If this sounds familiar, one of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal is the word ‘No’.

Although you should try to be generous and help others where possible, being able to say ‘No’ when you really need to is a very important skill that will help you preserve and utilize your most valuable asset – Time.

When you learn how to say ‘No’ to other people’s requests politely but firmly, you will be able to take back control of your life, and redirect your time towards the people and things that are most important to you.

Contrary to popular belief, saying ‘No’ to others does not have to be an uncomfortable or confrontational experience.

How to say ‘No’ in Social Situations

Saying ‘No’ to family and friends is often difficult because we feel obligated to say yes to everyone to try and maintain our family relationships.

Of course it’s nice to help out if you can, but sometimes the demands on your time can build up to the point where you simply have to say ‘No’ in order to reclaim a bit of time and space for yourself.

Here are some useful techniques for saying ‘No’ that you can use in various social situations.

The Unexplained ‘No’

One of the most effective techniques is the Unexplained No. Instead of trying to come up with a ‘good excuse’, simply say, “Sorry, I’ve already got plans.” and just leave it at that.

You don’t have to elaborate on what your plans are. Even if your ‘plans’ are to spend the day at home relaxing and reading, they are still YOUR plans, and you really don’t need to justify them to anyone else.

The Policy ‘No’

Another powerful way to say ‘No’ is to refer to a Personal Policy. For example, if you are tired of getting calls from telemarketers, just say “Sorry, but I have a personal policy not to buy things over the phone.’

You can also refer to a Family Policy. For example if friends ask you to go out for dinner you could say, “Sorry, we won’t be able to make it this time, we have a Family Policy to have dinner together on Fridays.”

The good thing about referring to a Personal or Family policy when saying ‘No’ is that it doesn’t feel like a direct rejection. You are simply saying no in order to stick to your predetermined policy.

Of course to make this approach work, you should spend some time to figure out what your Personal and Family Policies actually are.

The Partner Check ‘No’

In some situations you may just need to buy yourself a little time to think things over. One of the best ways to do this is to say something like, “Thanks, I’ll check with my wife/husband/partner and get back to you.”

I often use this approach when a sales person is trying to force me into making a buying decision on the spot.

The Full Plate ‘No’

One of the easiest ways to say no when you really need to is to simply say, “Sorry, I just have too many projects on my plate at the moment.”

The Promise ‘No’

Another very effective way to say no is to say, “Sorry, but I’ve promised myself I won’t take on any more responsibilities at the moment.”

An alternative to this approach is, “Sorry, but I’ve promised my wife/husband/partner I won’t take on any more responsibilities at the moment.”

The Honest ‘No’

And finally one of the most effective ways to say ‘No’ in social situations is just to be honest and say something like, “That sounds great, but I’ve been flat out at work this week, and I really just need a night to myself to recharge my batteries.”

This is a much better approach than trying to make up an excuse, and most people will appreciate your honesty.

How To Say No At Work

The most effective way to say ‘No’ to unreasonable demands at work is a technique I learnt in the corporate world called ‘Visual Upward Management’.

Here’s how it works…

On your computer, you create a document titled Current Priorities. You then list the major tasks currently on your plate in priority order.

At any one time, you should really only have between 1 and 5 major tasks on your list.

When your manager or someone else tries to hand you a new task, show them your list, and tell them that this is what is currently on your plate.

Ask them to confirm where the new task fits into your priority order and discuss the impact this new task will have on your existing tasks.

For example, Tina works in the Sales and Marketing department of an advertising firm. She is continually pulled in different directions by managers from various departments, and finds that her workload is becoming unbearable.

She often has to work late into the night to get everything done, and her work is having a big impact on her health and her relationship with her fiancé.

In order to be able to say ‘No’ to others, Tina creates a visual list of her current priorities, which looks like this:

The next day, Tina’s manager asks if she can give a marketing presentation the following week.

Tina shows him her Current Priorities list and explains that this is what is currently on her plate, and asks what priority the new presentation should be.

When faced with a visual representation of what Tina is working on, her manager immediately realizes that she is already working at full capacity.

They discuss the situation and Tina suggests that her colleague Martin might be able to do the presentation.

In this way, Tina is able to use ‘Visual Upward Management’ to say ‘No’ to an unreasonable demand from her manager without needing to complain or be confrontational.

—

When you arm yourself with practical ways to say ‘No’ in social situations and at work, you will feel empowered, and be much better prepared to deal with the barrage of requests we are all faced with on a daily basis.

Remember the goal is not to shirk your responsibilities or avoid helping your family and friends.

The goal in learning how to say ‘No’ effectively is to make sure that you don’t get overwhelmed by external demands, so you can redirect your time and effort towards the people and activities that are most important to you.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Dr. Anthony

The English poet John Dryden once said, “First we make our habits, then our habits make us”.

This quote perfectly captures the idea that the actions you take on a regular basis determine the type of person you become.

Good habits are the things you do each day that gradually lead you towards becoming the person you really want to be, and to achieving your most important goals in life.

Conversely, bad habits are the things you do repeatedly that make you unhappy about the person you are becoming, and move you away from achieving your goals.

The good news is, that it IS possible to overcome bad habits once you understand what a habit really is and how your mind works.

You see, a habit is nothing more than a mental circuit, which is very similar to the electrical circuits in your home.

For example, lets take a look at a simple electric circuit.

You flick a switch on the wall, and the light in the ceiling turns on.

This circuit is made up of two parts:

(1) A Trigger
(2) A Response

In this example the trigger is flicking a switch and the response is the light turning on.

Habits work in the same way. We experience a specific trigger, which might be a thought, a feeling, or a situation, and in response to this trigger we activate a circuit in our mind that leads us to perform a certain action.

The secret to breaking bad habits is to learn how to rewire the habit-circuits in your brain.

There are five steps to this rewiring process:

Step 1: Identify a specific bad habit to focus on

Step 2: Break your bad habit down into a Trigger and a Response

Step 3: Create a new response

Step 4: Mentally practice your new response

Step 5: Implement your new response in the real world

Let’s take a look at an example to see how this works:

Doug walked out of the doctor’s surgery feeling as though he had just been slapped in the face.

The doctor had told him that he was at serious risk of having a heart attack and that if he didn’t make some big changes to his lifestyle he might not live to be 50.

As a father of two little girls, this came as a major wake up call, and he immediately made the decision that he was going to do something about it.

Doug knew that he had some bad habits that he needed to change, but he also knew that change was hard, and that he couldn’t turn his life around all at once.

So, he decided to follow the five-step rewiring process described above.

Step 1: Identify a specific bad habit to focus on

Doug reviewed his daily routine and identified a number of things that he wanted to improve.

For example, every night when he got home from work, Doug would get changed out of his work clothes, grab a beer and some pretzels, and sit in front of the TV to watch the news. He called this his ‘Chill Out Time’.

After his visit to the Doctor, Doug realised that this routine was actually a bad habit that he needed to change.

So he selected his ‘Chill Out Time’ as the specific bad habit he was going to focus on.

Step 2: Break your habit down into a Trigger and Response

Doug analysed his ‘Chill Out Time’ routine and realised that the Trigger for his current habit was changing his work clothes. As soon as he changed clothes, his brain activated his ‘Chill Out Time’ mental circuit.

His Response to this trigger was to grab a beer and some pretzels and head for his favourite chair in the living room.

Step 3: Create a new response

As a result of his doctor’s warning, Doug decided that instead of his regular chill out time, he was going to go for a walk around the block for half an hour.

This would be his new response to the trigger of changing out of his work clothes.

Step 4: Mentally practice your new response

That night before going to bed, Doug visualised the day ahead and imagined himself coming home from work.

In his minds eye he saw himself change out of his work clothes (His existing trigger). He then imagined himself walking out the front door and going for a brisk walk around the block (His new response).

The next morning, Doug again imagined his new afternoon routine and mentally practiced his new response.

Step 5: Implement your new response in the real world

That afternoon, when he arrived home from work, Doug came face to face with his familiar trigger activity. He changed out of his work clothes and then, just as he’d mentally rehearsed, he put on his track pants and walked past the fridge, out the front door and around the block.

In the weeks that followed, Doug continued to focus on changing this single routine in his life. Each time he connected the trigger activity of changing out of his work clothes to his new response of going for a walk, the mental circuit of his new habit was reinforced, and the mental circuit of his old habit was weakened.

Eventually his new response became automatic, and Doug successfully made the first change towards a healthier and happier lifestyle.

So today I’d like to encourage you to think about your own life, and identify any bad habits that you’d like to change.

You can then use this five step rewiring process to eliminate your bad habits and get back on track to becoming the person you really want to be.

Until Next Time
Dare to Dream!
Dr. Anthony

I’m writing this blog post in a hotel room in New Zealand and while it is minus 3 degrees outside, I have a warm glow in my heart because today I broke through a mental wall that has held me back for many years.

You see in 2002 I was involved in a sporting accident and badly tore the medial meniscus in my right knee. After reconstructive surgery my knee was held together by seven Teflon screws and I was told that my days of active sports were over.

That diagnosis planted a powerful limiting belief in my mind which was “Active sports are not for me”. Over time this belief became something that I simply accepted as a fact and never even questioned.

However at the beginning of this year I recognised this limiting belief for what it really was – a wall within my mind that was preventing me from living the life I truly wanted.

Armed with this new insight, I stopped telling myself that I couldn’t pursue active sports and instead started exploring HOW I could overcome my long-term injury.

This change in perspective led me to see a sports physiotherapist and together we designed a fitness program to strengthen my knee.

And today, after several months of training, I felt the thrill of the sun on my face and the wind in my hair as I went snowboarding for the first time.

The reason I am telling you all this is because I want to share with you the incredible feeling that comes from breaking through a long-standing limiting belief.

There is something truly satisfying about working hard and achieving a goal that you once thought was beyond your reach.

I’d also like to encourage you to identify and challenge your own limiting beliefs.

Perhaps your mental wall is something like “I’ll never find the love of my life” or “I’ll never find a job I enjoy.”

Or perhaps it’s a mental barrier that someone else has planted in your mind by saying things like “You’ll never amount to anything” or “You’ll never make it on your own.”

Whatever your limiting belief might be and wherever it may have come from, I encourage you to see it for what it really is – a barrier within your mind that you CAN challenge and overcome.

But contrary to popular belief, this is not simply about ‘positive thinking’.

If I had just decided to ‘think happy thoughts’ and gone snowboarding, I have no doubt that I would be writing this blog post from a hospital bed!

Happy thoughts are not enough.

The way to overcome a long standing limiting belief is to create a plan of attack and then do the work necessary to break down your mental wall.

For example before going snowboarding I obtained professional advice, bought a sports knee brace and most importantly put in a lot of time and effort at the gym.

So here then is a five-step plan for breaking through your long-standing limiting beliefs:

1. Identify your limiting belief and recognise it for what it really is.
2. Make the conscious decision to challenge your belief.
3. Seek out the information you need and create a plan of attack.
4. Do the work necessary to break through your mental barrier.
5. Enjoy the incredible feeling of satisfaction that comes from achieving something you once thought was impossible.

Whenever you overcome a limiting belief you reconnect with the hopes and dreams that were locked away behind your mental wall. This in turn gives you a boost of motivation and a whole new perspective on what is possible in your life.

So I hope you will take this opportunity to identify and challenge the barriers that exist in your mind.

Always remember that when you overcome a limiting belief today, you lay the foundation for a brand new tomorrow.

Until next time,
Dare to Dream!
Anthony

p.s If you’ve ever overcome a limiting belief, please share your experience by leaving a comment below. I’d love to hear your story!

A lot of people believe that talent is a natural ‘gift’ that a few lucky individuals receive at birth. However, neuroscience research is now uncovering the truth about talent and how we develop our skills.

Our brains are made up of over 100 billion specialized cells called neurons.

When you decide to wiggle your big toe, neurons in your brain fire electrical signals that travel through your nervous system to reach the muscles in your toe and tell them to wiggle.

In this simple example, the process of wiggling your toe can be seen to be the equivalent of an electrical circuit that is activated by your mind.

At a higher level, any skill that you want to develop is in fact just a more complex neural circuit. For example learning to play the piano involves creating a circuit that involves your eyes, your brain and your fingers.

The most amazing thing about the neural circuits of our body is that they are made up of living tissue, which means they have the ability to grow and improve.

The first time you fire a particular neural circuit it is usually weak and poorly connected.

However, the more you fire the same circuit, the stronger it becomes. Not only do the connections between your neurons improve, but you also activate special cells that wrap your neural pathways in a substance called myelin, which improves the conduction of the electrical signals.

So what does all this actually mean?

It means that talent is not something you receive at birth, but rather, something that you develop through the creation and reinforcement of particular neural pathways.

Once you adopt this view of talent, you will quickly realise that you really can do anything that you put your mind to.

All you have to do is:

(1) Make a definite decision to develop a particular skill
(2) Start doing it immediately no matter how bad you initially are
(3) Push through the awkward stage by understanding it takes time to build a neural circuit
(4) Continue to perform the skill regularly in order to strengthen your neural pathways

Here’s an example that illustrates how this process works:

Trevor was a 43-year-old single man who was a little dissatisfied with his life. He had grown up believing that talent was a God-given gift and it seemed that somehow he had missed out on receiving any useful talents.

One evening, Trevor sat at home watching an old Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers musical on TV. He was amazed by their poise and gracefulness. He wished he could dance like they did but he knew that he had two left feet and no sense of rhythm.

However, the idea of learning to dance stayed with him, and a few days later Trevor tentatively decided to give it a go. He signed up at a dance studio and had his first lesson.

It was a disaster.

He didn’t know his left hand from his right, and he managed to step on the instructor’s toes five times.

He had decided not to return the following week, when he happened to see a documentary on the Discovery Channel that described the way in which neural circuits in the brain develop through repeated firing.

Trevor suddenly realised that if he wanted to learn to dance all he had to do was push through his initial embarrassment and keep dancing.

He therefore made a resolute decision that no matter what happened, he would keep attending the dance studio until the end of the year.

As the weeks and months went by, something amazing began to happen in Trevor’s brain and nervous system – He gradually began to develop the neural circuits required for dancing and little by little he gained control of his wayward feet.

By the end of the year he was a different person. His brain was literally rewired with the neural circuits of a competent dancer. He was confident and he thoroughly enjoyed the social dances at the studio.

In addition to his dancing skills, Trevor had learnt an even more valuable lesson. He had learnt that talent is not a God-given gift, but rather the result of creating specific neural circuits through regular practice and repetition.

So today I’d like to encourage you to think about talent as being something you develop rather than something you are given. With this new perspective, comes the freedom to choose what skills you’d really like to develop in your life. Once you’ve decided on a specific skill, commit yourself to making it happen and get started.

Understand that it takes time to strengthen the neural pathways required to perform any skill and be prepared to feel a little uncomfortable when you first begin.

If you can push through this initial awkward stage, you will gradually develop the neural circuits you need and eventually people will marvel at your amazing ‘natural’ talent.

Until next time
Dare to Dream
Anthony

Whenever you are faced with a difficult or challenging situation, one of the best things you can do is to strengthen your vision of tomorrow in order to deal with the reality of today.

For example Jen and Chris were looking to buy a home. After a great deal of searching they came across a run-down old house in a nice part of town. Having evaluated their finances, they decided to buy the house and move in with Jen’s parents while they renovated.

Initially they were really excited by their project but as they started working on the house, they gradually began to realize the enormity of the task they had taken on.

Since they both still worked full time, Chris and Jen had to spend every spare moment working on the house, and it seemed that the old place was just an endless collection of problems waiting to be discovered.

First they were told that the wiring was faulty and potentially dangerous, then the roof showed signs of termites and finally the hot water service broke down completely. It seemed as though every time they took one step forward, something happened to move them two steps back.

What they hoped would be a rewarding project they could share together developed into a constant source of stress and frustration that sapped their energy and put an unexpected strain on their relationship.

One day while Jen was searching the Internet for renovation tips, she came across an article describing the idea of strengthening your vision of tomorrow as a way to deal with the reality of today.

The article struck a chord with Jen as it reminded her of the plans she and Chris had originally had for their house. She discussed the article with Chris and they agreed that they would try and focus on their vision of tomorrow rather than dwelling on their current reality.

The next time they visited their renovation site, they took a moment to walk through the house together and talk.

They began by giving a name to each room, so the lounge became the ‘TV room’, one small bedroom became ‘Chris’ study’, and the other became the ‘Baby’s Room’ even though they were not yet expecting.

As they stood amidst the plaster dust and rubble they also discussed where their favorite pictures would go and the color schemes of each area of the house.

This simple exercise really did make a difference. By strengthening their vision of tomorrow, they began to feel a little less disheartened by their current reality.

Inspired by their discussion, later that day, Chris purchased a 3D renovation program and installed it on his computer. He then spent the weekend creating a computer model of the entire house.

Together Chris and Jen worked on creating a digital vision of their future home. They tried different furniture layouts and applied various color schemes until they found exactly what they were looking for. The final step was to print our color copies of their designs and pin them up in the rooms of the house to provide themselves with inspiration.

Armed with this crystal clear vision of what they were working towards, Chris and Jen felt an enormous surge of energy and enthusiasm.

Instead of begrudgingly heading over to the house to confront their next disaster, they began meeting every problem head on and resolved it as quickly as possible in order to make their vision a reality.

Finally, after many months of backbreaking work Jen and Chris stepped through the front door of their newly renovated home. Hand in hand, they walked from room to room remembering what the house used to look like and enjoying the new reality that they had created together.

If you are currently facing a difficult situation, I’d like to encourage you to develop a crystal clear vision of the goal you are working towards. Whenever you strengthen your vision of tomorrow you will receive a boost of motivation that will help you overcome the problems of today.

Until Next Time,
Dare to Dream!
Anthony

Many people think of dissatisfaction as a negative emotion that should be suppressed or denied, but in actual fact dissatisfaction is one of the most important ingredients for success.

What most people don’t realize is that dissatisfaction is a powerful form of fuel that has been the driving force behind many of the world’s greatest achievements.

You see, in order to be dissatisfied, you must want something.

And if you can identify what it is that you want and then stoke the fuel of your dissatisfaction, at some point it will ignite and propel you to take action.

Here’s an example that illustrates how this works in the real world.

Yani was a concierge in a large city hotel. He always did his best to help hotel guests and tried to maintain a positive attitude, however, deep down Yani was dissatisfied with his job and career prospects.

Whenever Yani became aware of his dissatisfaction, he tried to suppress it. He told himself not to have a negative attitude and to just accept his lot in life.

However, one night after dealing with a particularly rude and arrogant guest, Yani knew he had to face facts – he was dissatisfied and it was time to do something about it.

He analyzed his dissatisfaction and after a considerable amount of thought, Yani realized that what he really wanted was to pursue his interest in computers and technology, but he had no idea how to go about making such a major life change.

He knew he could not just quit because he had bills to pay, but over time Yani’s dissatisfaction continued to grow and like fuel to a fire, it increased his desire to make a change.

When Yani came across an advertisement in a newspaper for adult night classes in computer programming, the fuel of his dissatisfaction ignited and propelled him into action. He rearranged his hotel shifts and immediately enrolled in the course.

Two years later, Yani walked through the lobby of the hotel with a laptop bag across his shoulder. The computer consulting company he now worked for was holding a conference in the hotel function centre.

The hotel hadn’t changed, but Yani had. Fueled by his dissatisfaction, he had taken action and had succeeded in changing his circumstances and the direction of his life.

“Dissatisfaction is man’s driving force.”
- W. Clement Stone

So the next time you feel dissatisfied about something in your life, instead of dismissing or denying your dissatisfaction, recognize it for what it truly is – a hidden fuel that can spur you on to achievement and success.

Remember that if you are dissatisfied, then you must want something. Spend the time to clarify what it is that you want, and utilize your dissatisfaction to propel yourself into action and make your dreams a reality.

Until next time,

Dare to Dream!
Anthony

As children we set out confidently to explore the world we find around us. We are inquisitive, curious and have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience.

However, as we grow a little older we begin to discover our personal limitations…

We run as fast as we can at the school sports and still come last in the race. From this experience we determine that we are ‘bad at sports’.

We attempt to draw our favorite cartoon character and our friends laugh at the result. From this experience we decide that we ‘can’t draw’.

We try playing the piano and get yelled at by our piano teacher. This experience leads us to believe that we ‘are not musical’.

With each negative experience, we create a personal limitation that we file away in our minds and carry with us into adulthood.

As adults we often have a wide range of preconceptions and limiting beliefs that prevent us from fully experiencing the world around us. The problem with these beliefs is that we have carried them for so long that we don’t even think of challenging them.

It’s a lot like the story of the baby elephant that has a rope tied around his leg. Initially the little elephant tugs at the rope to try and break free, but eventually he gives up and accepts that he cannot move beyond the range of the rope.

Years later, when the elephant has grown into a two tonne adult that could easily break the rope, he doesn’t even try because he still holds the belief that he cannot break free.

Like the elephant, we often accept the limiting beliefs that we developed as children without question. We carry these beliefs with us for so long that we forget to challenge them in light of the new capabilities we have as adults.

For example, when Adam was young he didn’t learn how to swim. For many years he simply accepted this limitation as part of who he was. The ‘I can’t swim’ belief became ingrained in Adam’s mind to the point where he no longer questioned it.

It wasn’t until he was 25 that Adam recognized his internal belief for what it really was – a childhood limitation that was needlessly preventing him from enjoying life as an adult.

Adam began swimming lessons at his local pool and within three months he could swim competently. By the end of the year with some additional coaching, he was swimming over a kilometre a day.

Learning to swim also opened up a whole new world to Adam. For the first time in his life, he went to the beach with friends and enjoyed body surfing and having fun in the water. A few months later he began dating a girl who enjoyed sailing, and they had a fantastic time skimming across the surface of the ocean on a catamaran with the wind in their hair.

While Adam enjoyed these new activities, what brought him the most satisfaction was knowing that he had overcome his childhood limitation. Unlike the little elephant, Adam had broken the mental rope that had restricted him in the past and he was now enjoying his newfound freedom.

Today I’d like to encourage you to identify and challenge the limiting beliefs that you may have developed in the past.

If there is something that you have always wanted to do, then make the decision to break free of your limiting beliefs and get started.

There are whole new worlds of knowledge and experiences just waiting for you to discover. All you need to do is break free of the rope of your limiting belief and begin to take action.

Until next time
Dare To Dream!
Anthony

At some point in time all of us are faced with difficult problems in life. These problems are not the sort of thing that can be easily solved by reading a positive quote on our bathroom mirror.

They are complex real world problems such as seriously ill family members, relationship breakdowns or challenging financial situations.

When we are faced with these types of problems we often analyse them continuously in our mind until we are mentally and physically exhausted. However, despite our exhaustion we find it difficult to sleep and often wake up feeling just as tired as we were the day before.

If this sounds familiar and you are facing a particularly difficult situation today, I’d like to share with you a technique that has helped me get through some tough times in the past with the hope that it may help you too.

The technique is called the ‘Worry Cloakroom’.

Whenever you attend a concert or play at a theatre, you have the option to remove your coat and check it into the cloakroom so that you can enjoy the performance without being encumbered by your outer garments.

When the performance is over, you return to the Cloakroom, pick up your coat and step out of the theatre and back into the world you are familiar with.

One of the most useful techniques for dealing with complex real-world problems is to create for yourself a ‘Worry Cloakroom’.

A Worry Cloakroom is a place in your mind where you can ‘check in’ the worries you are dealing with for a period of time, so that you can enjoy an experience without being encumbered by your worries or guilt.

For example, Jackie was attempting to look after her elderly mother. While she loved her mom dearly, the strain of being a full-time carer was really starting to take a toll on her physical and mental well-being.

Whenever Jackie tried to take a break from her duties as a carer she felt extremely guilty and found it very difficult to enjoy the things she used to.

Then a friend told Jackie about the concept of the Worry Cloakroom and she realised that it was actually very important for her to ‘check in’ her worries for a short time in order to take a break and reconnect with the things she enjoyed.

The idea of the Worry Cloakroom appealed to Jackie because it wasn’t the same as abandoning her duties. She was simply ‘checking in’ her worries temporarily in order to enjoy an experience and then she would pick them up again on her way out.

What this meant in the real world was that Jackie arranged for her sister to spend some time with their mother while she went out for a meeting at her local book club.

When she left the house, Jackie imagined herself at the counter of her Worry Cloakroom and ‘checked in’ her worries about her mother and gave herself permission to stop thinking about the situation for a short period of time. She did not feel guilty about doing this because she realised that her worries would be waiting for her at the counter when she returned.

She allowed herself to have a wonderful time at her book club meeting and enjoyed having a coffee with her friends and discussing the latest book they had all been reading.

When she returned home, Jackie imagined herself checking out her worries from the Worry Cloakroom and returning to the familiar world she knew. However, upon her return she was revitalised by her break and felt much better prepared to face the situation at hand.

Today, if you are dealing with a difficult real world problem, I’d like to encourage you to create your own Worry Cloakroom. Make the decision to give your mind and body a break from the constant burden of worry. Identify an activity that brings you joy and schedule it into your timetable.

Give yourself permission to check your worries into your Worry Cloakroom for a period of time. Take a break from your anxiety and enjoy the activity you’ve selected without feeling guilty.

When you complete your activity, you will feel reenergised and much better equipped to return to the situation at hand. And whatever the situation is that you are dealing with, I send you my thoughts, prayers and best wishes.

Until next time,
Dare to Dream.
Anthony

One of the most important principals for achieving success is to understand that your mind is like a garden bed where you cultivate and grow the seeds of thought.

When you plant a positive seed of thought in your mind and nurture it carefully, it germinates and grows until it leads you to take action.

As soon as you begin acting on your idea, your seed of positive thought becomes a seedling of positive action.

If you continue to feed and encourage this seedling, it gradually develops into a tree of positive habit.

Once this habit has become solid and immovable, it is then only a matter of time before it blossoms to produce the fruits of success.

However it is important to be aware that the garden of your mind does not discriminate between positive and negative seeds of thought.

A negative seed of thought planted within your mind often leads you to take negative actions. These actions gradually develop into negative habits that will inevitably produce the fruits of failure.

When you understand that your thoughts lead to actions and your actions develop into habits and that it is your habits that determine your results in life, then you’ll appreciate why it’s so important to be careful about the seeds of thought that you plant within your mind.

One of the real secrets of success is to become a watchful caretaker over the garden of your mind and make sure that you only plant and cultivate thoughts that will develop into the positive habits necessary for making your dreams a reality.

So what does this mean in the real world?

It means that you should carefully monitor the thoughts that you are planting within your mind each day. Whenever you catch yourself planting or nurturing a negative thought, make the conscious decision to uproot and discard it.

For example, when Andrew went to see his doctor, he was told that he had high cholesterol and needed to lose 10kg. In response to this advice, Andrew joined his local gym and started exercising three days a week.

A few weeks later Andrew stood in front of his bed room mirror and assessed his reflection.

His first thought was, “I look exactly the same! All that hard work and I don’t look any different. This isn’t working at all.”

Then he stopped and realized that this was a negative seed of thought.

He knew that if he continued to nurture this negative perspective it wouldn’t be long before he started skipping sessions and pretty soon his exercise program would be a thing of the past.

Having recognized his negative seed of thought, Andrew made the conscious decision to uproot and discard it before it took hold in his mind.

He took a second look at his reflection and told himself, “Every training session is making me fitter.” This was a positive seed of thought that made him feel good about the action he was taking.

Over time, Andrew continued his training program while protecting his mind from the disempowering seeds of negativity. Eventually he reached his goal weight and brought his cholesterol level down to a healthy level.

So today I’d like to encourage you to become a watchful caretaker of your mind. Whenever you identify a seed of negative thought, uproot and discard it.

Remember, it is much easier to uproot a seed of negative thought than it is to chop down a tree of negative habit that has taken root over many years.

By planting and cultivating seeds of positive thought, you will set in motion a truly remarkable process.

In the same way that a tiny acorn develops into a mighty oak tree, your positive seeds of thought will germinate into the actions and habits that will ultimately lead you to success.

Until next time,
Dare to Dream!
Anthony

As deep sea divers descend into the depths of the ocean the pressure around them builds until they are operating in an extremely high pressure environment.

In order to return to the surface safely, these divers often need to spend time in a depressurization chamber.

While you may not journey to the bottom of the sea, it’s quite possible that you too regularly spend time in a high pressure environment in the form of your workplace.

Just as divers need to depressurize after spending time in a high pressure environment, it’s equally important for you to depressurize after work in order to avoid bringing work related stress into your home.

A good way to think of this process is to imagine that you pass through a depressurization chamber on your way home from work. As you pass through your chamber, you eliminate the pressure of work so that you can return home in the right frame of mind to enjoy your evening.

Here are five activities that you can use as a depressurization chamber at the end of your work day.

Walk and Talk: One of the best depressurization techniques if you have a partner is something called ‘walk and talk’.

As soon as you get home after a busy day, change clothes to get out of ‘work’ mode and then go for a walk around the block with your partner. Take it in turns to discuss your day and use the opportunity to talk about any difficulties or stresses that you are each facing.

Once you’ve fully vented any built up stress and got your blood pumping with a bit of exercise, you’ll find it much easier to let go of work related activities so that you can return home to enjoy your night together.

Drive and Sing: Another great technique if you drive to work is to turn your car into a depressurization chamber by listening to your favorite CD and singing out loud.

The combination of your favorite music and the freedom of singing in your own space is a great way to eliminate the built up stress of the day. Of course you shouldn’t get too carried away while you’re behind the wheel.

Listen and Laugh: If you can find a good drive time radio station, an excellent way to depressurize after a hard day at work is to listen to a humorous radio program and enjoy a good laugh.

Laughter has been shown to lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, increase muscle flexion, and boost immune function.

Exercise and Shower: For some people, the gym acts as a great depressurization chamber.

A twenty minute cardio or circuit workout releases feel good endorphins that clear away the stress of the day and leave you feeling alert and on an exercise high.

Just make sure that you don’t make the mistake of trying to push yourself too hard. At the end of your workout you should feel energized not exhausted.

Park and Pet: If you are a pet person, another effective depressurization technique at the end of the day is to take your dog for a walk in the park.

Once again you get the benefits of exercise and fresh air and you also get to enjoy time with your four legged friend. Even after the most stressful day you’ll end up with a smile on your face once you’re done.

Hopefully these ideas will get you thinking.

Remember the key to making this technique work is to find an activity that you can use as a depressurization chamber that exists between your work place and your home.

When you get into the habit of passing through your depressurization chamber each day you’ll find that you arrive home in a much better frame of mind. This is turn will help you to make the most of your time at home with the people you love.

Until next time,
Dare to Dream!
Anthony

Imagine for a moment that you are at a party and you are chatting to someone who you’ve only just met. After discussing the decorations and the food, they pause and ask, “So, what do you do?”

Your answer to this simple question reveals an incredible amount about your personal sense of identity.

When faced with the question, “What do you do?” most people automatically respond by stating their 9 to 5 occupation.

The problem with this response is that it immediately defines you in terms of your job and places you in a pigeon hole that is often filled with stereo types associated with your profession.

For example, Claire is a receptionist who is working at a doctor’s surgery, however, her real passion in life is painting. When she is not working, she spends every spare moment surrounded by her canvases and paints.

For a long time, whenever someone asked “So Claire, what do you do?”, Claire’s response was, “Oh, I’m a medical receptionist.”

Almost inevitably, the person she was speaking to then asked about what it was like to work in a doctor’s surgery.

Then one day Claire made a decision.

She decided that she was no longer going to define herself as a ‘medical receptionist’ who enjoyed painting in her spare time. Instead, she was going to define herself as a ‘painter’ who was currently working at a doctor’s surgery in order to pay her bills.

This simple decision had a big impact on Claire’s sense of personal identity. She realized that it was important to tell people who she really was rather than automatically reciting her job title.

A few weeks later, Claire was at a friend’s housewarming party. As she stood by the fire with a glass in hand, she met a guy named Matt who asked her, “So Claire, what do you do?”

Claire responded by saying, “At the moment I’m working at a doctors’ surgery but what I’m really passionate about is painting.”

As soon as she said these words, Claire realized that this was exactly what she was looking for. It was a completely honest statement but did not place her into the ‘medical receptionist’ pigeon hole.

Instead, it conveyed a sense of who she really was and opened up multiple options for conversation.

To Claire’s delight, Matt asked her about her painting and they had a really interesting conversation. Matt was a web designer and he told Claire that a lot of artists were now selling their work directly to customers over the Internet rather than dealing with galleries.

This was a revelation to Claire who had never really heard of Internet business before.

As she was driving home from the party, Claire realized that her new sense of identity was already having an impact on her life. Instead of talking about being a medical receptionist, she was now discussing her painting with others and discovering new opportunities to explore.

Today I’d like to encourage you to think about the question, “What do you do?” and make the decision to no longer be automatically defined by your occupation title.

Instead, develop a response that is honest, reveals who you really are and opens up multiple avenues for conversation.

You’ll be amazed by how many doors this simple technique will open for you.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream!
Anthony

James Glover, a newly graduated teacher, stood at the front of his classroom preparing for another battle.

He glanced at the students as they filed into class – Worn out sneakers, shirts untucked, shoulders slumped. What could his English class give these kids that would help them with the problems they faced in the real world?

He had tried reaching out to them and he knew that he’d failed, but today he was going to try a different approach.

“OK everyone, grab a seat and listen up!

“Today we’re going to talk about the nature of character. So… Damon, what does character mean to you?”

The heavyset boy in the second row shifted in his seat uncomfortably before replying, “Umm, character is the people in a story?”

“You’re right Damon, characters are the people in a story, but the nature of character goes much deeper than that. Let me show you something.”

James lifted two plastic trays up on to his desk so that everyone in the class could see them. In each tray sat a large sponge. He then produced two glass jugs. The first contained clear water and the second contained dark brown drain water.

The young teacher poured the clear water into the first tray and the brown water into the second tray.

“OK, who can tell me what’s happening here?”

“The sponges are soaking up the water?” replied the usually quiet Sharon.

“That’s right Sharon, the sponges are soaking up the water that surrounds them.

“And that’s exactly how we develop our sense of character. We absorb the ideas of the people around us just like these sponges soak up the water.

“If we surround ourselves with supportive, optimistic people we gradually develop a positive character,” said the young teacher indicating the tray containing the clean water.

He then motioned towards the second tray.

“On the other hand, if we continually associate with pessimistic and cynical people, we gradually develop a negative character.”

James paused and noticed that the background chatter that usually filled the class was absent.

“Now what happens when I take the sponges out of the water?” he asked as he lifted up the sponges, one in each hand.

The class looked puzzled.

“How do they look?” prompted James.

“They look the same to me” said Damon and the class responded with a ripple of laughter.

“You’re right Damon, they do look the same on the outside, but there’s one important difference.

“Watch what happens when I squeeze the sponges.” James squeezed the first sponge and clear water flowed back into the tray. He then squeezed the second sponge and released a steady stream of dark liquid.

“You see, even when I remove the sponges from their trays, they still carry their water with them. Its only when I squeeze the sponges that we can really see what’s inside them.

“The same thing happens with us,” continued James, “When we leave our familiar environment, we still carry our character inside us and when life puts us under pressure, our true character emerges from within.”

The class was quiet as they reflected on James story.

For Damon Washington, this was a timely message. Since moving schools he’d been spending time with a group of neighborhood kids who had a very negative view of the world.

In a moment of insight that belied his years, Damon realized that his new ‘friends’ were a lot like the dark brown water in Mr. Glover’s second tray. Perhaps his Mom was right after all – perhaps he did need to find some new friends…

At the end of the period, as the students filed out of the classroom, James Glover received the most rewarding compliment of his teaching career when Damon paused at the door and said, “That thing with the sponges was pretty cool Mr G.”

—

Today I’d like to encourage you to take Mr Glover’s lesson on board.

Make the decision to spend your time with motivated, optimistic people. By doing this you will gradually soak up the thoughts and ideas necessary to develop a positive character.

And when the time comes and life puts you under pressure, you’ll be able to draw upon this reservoir and your true character will emerge from within.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream,
Anthony

For thousands of years people have been searching for a way to accurately predict their future.

Some believe that the motion of the stars and planets somehow influence our destinies. Others speculate that the lines on an individual’s palm or the arrangement of tea leaves in the bottom of a cup can provide an insight into what lies ahead.

Unfortunately, none of these systems have a very high success rate. However, there is one way to predict your future with incredible accuracy.

The most effective technique for predicting your future does not involve creating a Numerological Chart. Instead it involves creating a Habitual Activity Chart.

Here’s how it works.

A Habitual Activity Chart contains 21 cells that each represent a specific block of time outside of your working hours.

More than anything else, it is the regular weekly activities that you pursue during these blocks of time that will determine the nature of your future.

Let’s take a look at an example so that you can see exactly how this works.

When Lucy sat down to predict her future by creating a Habitual Activity Chart, she thought about the activities that she pursued on a regular basis during the week.

Her initial chart looked like this:

As Lucy’s Habitual Activity Chart shows, her main weekly habits outside of work hours involved stopping off for a coffee and croissant each morning, having lunch with her fellow teachers at lunchtime and relaxing in the evenings in front of the television.

When Lucy assessed her Habitual Activity Chart, she asked herself the important question:

“What will my future look like if I continue to pursue these habits?”

Lucy realized that her current weekly habits were leading her towards a future that she didn’t really like the look of.

She was also surprised to find that her habits were in no way aligned with the most important goals in her life which were:

(1) To write a children’s book
(2) To get fit
(3) To find her life partner

Lucy therefore decided to make some changes. Her revised Habitual Activity Chart looked like this:

Lucy changed her morning routine to spend an hour each day working on her book. She also decided to use the school gym at lunchtime three times a week and set aside some time to make dating a priority.

By changing her Habitual Activity Chart, Lucy was able to change directions and establish the habits that would lead her to a new future that was more in line with her most important goals.

Now it’s your turn…

To download a blank Habitual Activity Chart, please Click Here.

By creating your own Habitual Activity Cart and learning to analyze your weekly habits, you too can quickly gain a powerful insight into what the future has in store for you.

The most exciting part about this technique is that if you don’t like the future that your current habits are leading you towards, all you have to do is change your habits.

Remember, your weekly habits crystallize to form your character, and ultimately it is your character that determines your future in life.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream,
Anthony

One of the most important skills you can develop for success in life is the ability to evaluate situations quickly and make definite decisions.

Many people struggle with the process of decision making. Whether it is at home, or at work, it is easy to become paralyzed by the fear of making the ‘wrong’ decision.

This fear often leads us to avoid making decisions altogether and we end up delegating our decision making to the people around us.

For example, when someone asks, “What movie would you like to see?”

You might reply with one of these tell-tale responses:

“Oh, I don’t mind.”

“Whatever you like.”

“I’m not fussed.”

“Your choice.”

“Anything is fine.”

The problem with dismissive responses such as these is that they quickly develop into the habit of indecision. This in turn can become a major obstacle to achieving your most important goals in life.

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”
- Flora Whittemore

The first step to becoming more decisive is to understand that making decisions is a skill and just like any other skill, it improves with practice.

Instead of waiting until you are confronted with a major decision, the best way to exercise your ‘decision making muscle’ is to practice on the multitude of small decisions that you make each and every day.

Whenever someone asks for your opinion on any subject, here’s what you should do:

(1) Avoid responding with a dismissive remark such as “I’m not fussed”
(2) Stop for a moment and give yourself time to think
(3) Become aware of what your ‘gut feeling’ is
(4) State your opinion confidently

So, the next time someone asks you “What movie would you like to see?” don’t leave the decision making up to others.

Instead, stop for a moment, become aware of your ‘gut feeling’, and then state your opinion confidently. For example you might say something like “I feel like seeing a comedy…”

As you practice this simple process, you will find it becomes easier to tune into your gut feelings and identify what YOU want instead of always being influenced by those around you.

By exercising your ability to identify and express your opinion, you will gradually overcome the fear of making decisions.

Eventually, when you are confronted by a more serious decision, you will be able to draw upon your well-practiced decision making skills to evaluate the situation and make a decision quickly and confidently.

Until next time,
Dare To Dream,
Anthony