When the midwife placed his daughter into his arms for the first time, Thomas Saunders was overwhelmed with emotion. Through tears of joy, he looked down at his little girl and made a silent promise to himself that he would do everything in his power to provide for his new family.
As a result of his promise, Thomas began working harder than he had ever worked before. He volunteered for unpopular shifts, clocked up as much overtime as possible and tried to do whatever he could to make a good impression with his boss.
After 6 months of hard work, his initiative paid off and he received a promotion to assistant manager. This meant a jump in salary, and a great deal of extra responsibility.
To help him prepare for his new position, Thomas was invited to attend a two-day ‘New Manager’ seminar at head office.
On the second day of the seminar, Thomas attended a lecture delivered by a consultant from the FranklinCovey Institute. Little did Thomas know that this 1-hour presentation would change his life.
After a brief preamble, the presenter asked for a volunteer from the audience. Thomas raised his hand and was invited onto the stage.
On a table in the center of the stage, the presenter had placed a large glass bowl. Next to the bowl were three sizeable rocks and a wooden bowl containing a pile of small pebbles.
The presenter informed the audience that the glass bowl represented Thomas’s life. He then asked Thomas to nominate the three most important things in his life. Thomas paused for a moment and then replied, “My family, my health, and my work.”
“Great” replied the presenter and wrote these items onto the large rocks with a permanent marker.
Next, the presenter picked up the wooden bowl containing the pebbles and poured them into the bowl until it was three quarters full. He explained that the small stones represented the many trivial tasks that all too often fill up our days.
The presenter then asked Thomas to try to add the large rocks to the bowl.
Thomas placed the first rock into the bowl but then quickly realized that it was physically impossible to add the remaining rocks into the already crowded bowl.
“It’s just not possible” said Thomas after struggling for five minutes.
The presenter then lifted a second empty glass bowl onto the table and said, “OK, lets try a different approach”
He asked Thomas to place the large rocks into the second empty bowl, which Thomas did with ease.
“OK Thomas, now I want you to pour the small rocks from the first glass bowl into the second bowl”.
Thomas picked up the first bowl, which was half filled with small stones and carefully began pouring them into the second bowl, which now contained his large rocks.
With a loud clatter, the small stones flowed around the large rocks and filled every nook and crevice.
To his amazement, Thomas was able to pour all the small stones into the second bowl and then pat them level.
The presenter then turned to the audience and said, “The take home lesson from this experiment is that in order to fit everything into your busy lives as a new manager, you will need to put your big rocks in place first. Everything else will then take care of itself.”
Thomas paused for a moment, and then suddenly the true significance of the experiment he had just taken part in hit him like a sledgehammer.
For the last six months he had been focusing on his career in order to ‘provide’ for his family. However, in doing so he had spent very little actual time with his wife and little daughter.
As he drove home that night, he wrestled with his conflicting thoughts. He still wanted to do well in his career in order to meet the needs of his family, but he now also wanted to make sure that he put his big rocks in place first.
By the time he pulled into his driveway, Thomas had come up with a plan.
Here’s what he did:
Thomas discussed the seminar with his wife and told her that he realized how busy he was going to be as an assistant manager and he wanted to make sure that he put his family first.
He then found a wall calendar and together, he and his wife went through the twelve months ahead and blocked out one weekend per month as ‘Family Time’.
They aimed to make it the first weekend of the month, but occasionally had to reschedule it around important occasions such as family birthdays and weddings.
After marking their Family Time on a wall calendar, they copied the dates across to the calendars on their mobile phones.
This simple exercise took less than 20 minutes, but it had an enormous impact on Thomas’ life.
By putting the ‘big rock’ of his family into his schedule first, an amazing thing started to happen…
In the months that followed, whenever Thomas referred to his diary to schedule work events or social engagements, he came across his ‘Family Time’ entrees and – planned around them.
In the same way that the small stones had flowed around the large rocks in the glass bowl experiment, Thomas’ external commitments and obligations began flowing around his ‘Family Time’ weekends.
Thomas and his wife began looking forward to their ‘Family Time’ as a way to take a break from their hectic day-to-day lives and reconnect as a family.
When their budget allowed it, they would go away for the weekend, but many of their best ‘Family Time’ weekends were spent at home, going on picnics, exploring local markets and having movie marathons.
Putting his family rock into his schedule first helped Thomas lock in his priorities, and made a big difference to the quantity and quality of time he spent with his wife and little girl.
Today, I’d like to encourage you to give this simple ‘Family Time’ system a go. My wife Bec and I now lock in our family time on the first day of each New Year, and it’s been one of the best things we’ve ever done.
If a whole weekend per month doesn’t fit in with your schedule, perhaps you can start with a monthly ‘Family Day’.
Give it a try and I hope you enjoy your ‘Family Time’ as much as we do.
Until Next Time,
Dare To Dream
Dr. Anthony
{ 96 comments }
Thanks very much for this wonderful article, Dr. Fernando. I am sure many of us reading this post will identify where we are going wrong when dividing our professional and personal time.
Good article for all leaders who need to balance work,family and health.
Great advice as usual. You are a great teacher for living life to it’s fullest. Thank you. Alice
Thank you so much Sir Anthony for sharing this “Finding Time For Family” because its really my mind opener that i really do much time in my work and our network marketing business in order to have a financial freedom in our life and sometimes the time that i should spend to my family will used in our business and your course helps me now how to handle our family time…God Bless and more Power….
Excellent article I have ever read on the importance of family live. The illustration is just wonderful. It will be bringing a big change in my life too.
DANISH
This illustration has really touched my life and made a positive difference.
Thank You
Excellent presentation has thrown lot of light on the importance of a balance in life on all aspects and events that need to be planned thereby making life more pleasurable to live . THANK YOU VERY MUCH . YOU HAVE CHANGED THE LIVES OF MILLIONS ACROSS THE GLOBE . MAY YOUR SERVICE TO MANKIND CONTINUE . THANK U ONCE AGAIN .
Great Article!!! We love your articles….
Important lesson that will change my life………………
Thanks.
Sir, Great advice… it will change my working style.. Thanks for womderful artical.. Great !!!
Great lesson to live successful life.
Keep it up.
Dear Anthony! I am not yet true reading this blog, but then I started to re think how does my family rated me in terms of spending time with them especially during those time I am employed. But I remember when my children was still young , when there is a need to bring them to Doctor I always take a leave of absence, and there was a repeated instances that happened in just a month. My Boss talked to me, as if I am just making alibi, He even told me “Love your work”. I answered him, Yes, but I love my family most, because I cannot change them!
This narration applies to my present situation acutely. I will give it a try, and inform you (my friends) on the outcome. Have a great day.
Thanks. Dr. Anthony
Thank you very much mr.Anthony. After reading your article i realized what i missed so far. I’m now learning to balance things.
Thangs again forsuch a wonderful eye opener.
Thank you Anthony, your stories have always given me to look forward positively
Excellent article, gives new meaning to the glass half full.
I have always wondered how i could make it as a mother, wife and businessperson. With the above illustration, am comfortably able to manage my life. Thanx!
Interesting indeed!
Its a wonderful idea to find time for any important thing we want to do, which we mostly cant do due to our mental blocks. Thanks for removing that mental block.
Good Story. – Very useful & fine.
Very very thank you sir for sending this type of article. this article is like a life action plan which gives an idea how to live pleasant family life and professional life which increase productivity also. This can reduce mental stress and create balance in life…
anyway keep it up sir… and please always compose these types of motivational & inspirational articles… I think that many of us will be benefited from this article…
Really great article.
Thanks you.
Thank you so much. I like this article….
thanks sir for give us valuable thoughts.
Thanks Anthony for this article….Now a days everyone have their busy schedule…..I hope this article will help me and my friends to understand how we can manage the time for All…..Thanks Again!!!
Thank you very much Dr Fernando. I will read this useful message again with my wife and apply it immediately.
Blessed!
it is the guiding factor for me as i am puzzled with my work[duty] adn family.
thanks
An excellent article very well illustrated. A true eye opener.
Nice article Dr. Fernando, keep pouring them in my inbox
Dr. Fernando,
This is an excellent article. I saw something like this before, but having this from you came as an excellent reminder.
Thanks for sharing, I’ll use it to organize better the tasks on my projects.
Dearest Anthony
You inspire and brighten with your articles..god bless you for your inspiration….weekly updates would be a dream
Hi, Dr Fernando,
This article of yours is a true eye opener.I hope to make amends in my family.
Best Regards
Yvonne; “weekly updates would be a dream”
But then he (Anthony) wouldn’t be putting his big rocks first would he?
Hi, what wonderful wisdom.. enjoyed and would like to seek permission to use part of it for my workshop for homilists in our area. Anthony, thanks very much for your sharing of a very moving and inspirational topic on family which I do believe is the most fundamental or basic thing to be aware of before all else…Thank you so much…cheers!!!!
Dear Dr. Anthony,
You never stop to amazed me. You are such a great mentor! Actually, the 1st time I came across you Dare to Dream Newsletters I was so impressed, excited and touched by the practicality of your teaching. From then on, I looked forward to the inspiration and significant learning that I get from your newsletters. Kudos to you and my heartfelt thanks! My husband Frederic and I have a marriage encounter community where we serve as head of the education ministry and shepherds to our flock. We passed on the learning to our community while at the same time applying it to our lives. We dream for financial freedom ten years from now. My best regards and may God continue to bless our dreams so that we continue to be a blessing to others!
Hi, Dr. Fernando,
This article makes me realize that most of the time we look for solutions far away, while the the best solutions are just arround the corner.
Thank you very much, and may God bless you and your family.
I love ths article. I was at the edge of causing great damage to my lovely family. Thanks to this article.
Excellent article which highlights the important of having a familly time while carrying out other activities. Thanks Dr. Anthony for sharing and remind us how important the family time is.
it was really a good article for those who are busy with their tight schedule but unable to spend some time for others….I also heared at a softskills training session.it’s really amazing that how the small changes will lead to the big miracles…thank you for writing to us….have a great day…
Nice article. Thank you, Anthony!
Thankx for writing wonderfull article…Thankx a lot.
Thank You for giving me the opportunity to read your wonderful article on my birthday. i was exactly thinking about my family growth and career prospect and was feeling gloomy. But at the same time i happened to read your article and i am already feeling elated… Thanks again for making us rediscover ourselves..
Hi Anthony … was amazing indeed
I love this article. This article of yours is a true eye opener.I hope to make amends in my family. Thank you very much Dr Fernando
I really look forward to your articles as they provide a ray of light and honesty in the jaded world of the internet. Thank you very much indeed, this particular article is definitely one of the best.
Excelent article, I feel identified so much with it, I think that we need “Personal Time” too, in my case, I’m having an online English course and by the job I almost lost it, so that I go to take note of your article for made a plan for myself and my family first than my job. Sorry for my English..
Thumbs Up as usual :)))
Hi, Dr.
Aother inspiring article indeed.My family time schedule has been a mass
but now you made me to appreciate my close ones more.
Regards
Hi Anthony,
This was good stuff, it really make a lot of sense. I belief this is something to unlock the tied situation in which I am. Please continue the good work.
Thank you for sending me the article.
how fruitfully and amazing revitalizing , your articles Dr.Anthony
kudos to you for elating us
Thank you so much Dr. Anthony for sharing this article to me..
Hi Dr Fernando
You are a wonderful practise-and-preach teacher.Thanks for such managerial lessons.
i love your articles cos they are so different from many other articles. they are teaching me the rialities. thanks and keep on posting.
A great advice. A big thanks to you
Really effective planned for us as our life becoming so fast and we don’t have time for our family , friends and even own-self , after this definitely our life will change.
Dr Anthony Fernando you never cease to amaze me. Your teachings have been such a blessing for me. You truly have a gift! God Bless You in all that you do to Spread The Golden Butterflies! I am looking forward to applying this advice to my life. Much Power to you in helping all of us live Happier, more Peaceful, and Loving Lives! Thank You Much, Anna ;)
I am continually amazed at how you take the simplest concepts and turn them into such eye opening and life changing realities. Thank You!
Thank U Dr Anthony…For a great eye opener….To better embrace ‘family life’ with love and insight!
Dr A Fernando Thank you! for the wonderful lesson and eye opener. I will use your teachings with my family so we can spend more time with each other. Even if is only ones a month Thank you once again.
Thank you so much Dr. Anthony for sharing this great article. It is a eye opener for many people like me. Thanks once again.
Your article is tailor-made. For, it’s a turning point in my own life. Thank you and God bless you.
I don’t know how to thank you enough for improving the quality of life of the people who are fortunate enough to read your articles which are full of rare wisdom, and make efforts to imply the teachings in their lives.there are times when we get so involved in matters which do not even hold so much importance and take up much of our valuable time and subsequently start effecting us adversely health wise and start hurting our pockets as well too.I will make genuine effort to slither out of such harmful situations and start paying full attention to my family,health and personal work.and then if i can straighten out certain matters and certain wrongs effecting the innocent people around me. but first I have to be fit and happy within my family the rest will fit in as in the presentation. lovely presentation I must say.a million thanks and God bless you for the good service you are rendering to mankind dear Anthony. your articles are addictive,I read them first thing in the morning to condition me to sail smoothly and courageously through the obstacles of the day. your wisdom is seeping in and I always find something pleasant to think of when any depressing thought tries to engulf me.I ignore negativity and avoid negative people. please continue sending me your pearls of wisdom.they have been of GRRREAT help.
I don’t know how to thank you enough for improving the quality of life of the people who are fortunate enough to read your articles which are full of rare wisdom, and make efforts to imply the teachings in their lives.there are times when we get so involved in matters which do not even hold so much importance and take up much of our valuable time and subsequently start effecting us adversely health wise and start hurting our pockets as well .I will make genuine effort to slither out of such situations and start paying full attention to my family,health and personal work.and then if i can straighten out certain matters. but first I have to be fit and happy within my family the rest will fit in as in the presentation. lovely presentation I must say.a million thanks and God bless you for the good service you are rendering to mankind dear Anthony. your articles are addictive,I read them first thing in the morning to condition me to sail smoothly and courageously through the obstacles of the day. your wisdom is seeping in and I always find something pleasant to think of when any depressing thought tries to engulf me.I ignore negativity and avoid negative people. please continue sending me your pearls of wisdom.they have been of GRRREAT help.
i really enjoy the family thought you brought, its very interesting and educative. keep it up fernando cheers………
Dear Dr. Fernando,
it is a great article for me because i am away from my family due to my posting is in another city. Therefore i hardly get quality time for them. now i will plan accordingly.
Faheem
Thank you Dr Anthony .????????
hello Dr Anthony Fernando
God Bless you sir, your articles are wonderful and has been life changing for many
Thank you very much
that was a great article your explanation with the pebbles was excellent thanks a lot for the eye opening article.
I feel like I need to refocus my priorities again. Thank you Dr. Anthony.
Hello Dr. Fernando,
You are indeed offering a great service to humanitly by offering such thought-provoking, illustrated articles. I do appreciate your caring attitude, which radiates positive energy all around.
Santana
Even in family time, priority order should be wife, children, family health …
Thought provoking simple techniques of enjoying life! Great Dr. Anthony. Expect many more…
what a helpful tips mainly for a busy life individual! Thanks a lot for this family time article. More power!
Wow that’s so good, I read this article it change my life toward my Family, I will able to make plan to stay with my family during the weekend.
Thank you Dr Anthony .I am pleased to read it & will make a change in my life !.Have a nicetime ahead sir….
Thanks Dr Anthony
I am glad I went though it , will try it ASAP
I love the simple lessons that help you in life!!!!! I want you to know that your lessons would probably help a person if they actually thought about it and they put it in action.
Thanks for ur valuable article it boost me up
Blessings and keep writing
Dr Anthony,
I am glad that I subscribed for your articles. They are really good and inspiring. I like reading them very much :)
What a nice article Anthony ! Love it. Keep Going !!!
How often I read “Keep the first thing first” but I am confident I will follow this hereafter.
I hope the story delivers this message very powerfully.
Must say’ a very inspiring article… Throughly enjoyed reading it & will definitely incorporate it.
Thanks Anthony Sir.
Dear Anthony,
I always wait for your updates in my e-mail and every time I learn a great deal from You. And this time again it was not an exception.
Thank you so much for that wonderful advice Anthony!
Excellent article:)
Anthony, You have given me an opportunity to think about my family during the critical business competency.
This article helps me in balancing Family and work as such.
Thanks,I really look forward to your articles as they provide way of thinking & planning THANKS ONCE AGAIN
Thanks very much Dr. Antony
Thank you very much Dr. Antony
Thanks to share such a wonderful article.
Thank you Dr, Anthony that was inspiring. i will start practising for a better life
Thank you very much, Dr. Anthony because your article is very helpful, educational and informative. God bless you.
Henry
Great illustration, thank you for sharing it with the world. Family and health is so important but usally we pay so little attention to them. I plan to do somethings differently. The Core things first, the First things First!
thank u very much sir,this is really a good article to maintain balance life work,health and family.just we need to follow your guideline and nothing.i like it that awesomw
thanks for valueable article this keep it up and spread this kind of informative advice and so on
blessings and god bless you
until then bye
we love you Doctor of minds..you are great !!!
antony please come to coimbatore india ..we want to meet you
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