Your Hidden Fuel

Many people think of dissatisfaction as a negative emotion that should be suppressed or denied, but in actual fact dissatisfaction is one of the most important ingredients for success.

Time For Change

What most people don’t realize is that dissatisfaction is a powerful form of fuel that has been the driving force behind many of the world’s greatest achievements.

You see, in order to be dissatisfied, you must want something.

And if you can identify what it is that you want and then stoke the fuel of your dissatisfaction, at some point it will ignite and propel you to take action.

Here’s an example that illustrates how this works in the real world.

Yani was a concierge in a large city hotel. He always did his best to help hotel guests and tried to maintain a positive attitude, however, deep down Yani was dissatisfied with his job and career prospects.

Whenever Yani became aware of his dissatisfaction, he tried to suppress it. He told himself not to have a negative attitude and to just accept his lot in life.

However, one night after dealing with a particularly rude and arrogant guest, Yani knew he had to face facts – he was dissatisfied and it was time to do something about it.

He analyzed his dissatisfaction and after a considerable amount of thought, Yani realized that what he really wanted was to pursue his interest in computers and technology, but he had no idea how to go about making such a major life change.

He knew he could not just quit because he had bills to pay, but over time Yani’s dissatisfaction continued to grow and like fuel to a fire, it increased his desire to make a change.

When Yani came across an advertisement in a newspaper for adult night classes in computer programming, the fuel of his dissatisfaction ignited and propelled him into action. He rearranged his hotel shifts and immediately enrolled in the course.

Two years later, Yani walked through the lobby of the hotel with a laptop bag across his shoulder. The computer consulting company he now worked for was holding a conference in the hotel function centre.

The hotel hadn’t changed, but Yani had. Fueled by his dissatisfaction, he had taken action and had succeeded in changing his circumstances and the direction of his life.

“Dissatisfaction is man’s driving force.”
– W. Clement Stone

So the next time you feel dissatisfied about something in your life, instead of dismissing or denying your dissatisfaction, recognize it for what it truly is – a hidden fuel that can spur you on to achievement and success.

Remember that if you are dissatisfied, then you must want something. Spend the time to clarify what it is that you want, and utilize your dissatisfaction to propel yourself into action and make your dreams a reality.

Until next time,

Dare to Dream!

Set Yourself Free

As children we set out confidently to explore the world we find around us. We are inquisitive, curious and have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge and experience.

success bed

However, as we grow a little older we begin to discover our personal limitations…

We run as fast as we can at the school sports and still come last in the race. From this experience we determine that we are ‘bad at sports’.

We attempt to draw our favorite cartoon character and our friends laugh at the result. From this experience we decide that we ‘can’t draw’.

We try playing the piano and get yelled at by our piano teacher. This experience leads us to believe that we ‘are not musical’.

With each negative experience, we create a personal limitation that we file away in our minds and carry with us into adulthood.

As adults we often have a wide range of preconceptions and limiting beliefs that prevent us from fully experiencing the world around us. The problem with these beliefs is that we have carried them for so long that we don’t even think of challenging them.

It’s a lot like the story of the baby elephant that has a rope tied around his leg. Initially the little elephant tugs at the rope to try and break free, but eventually he gives up and accepts that he cannot move beyond the range of the rope.

Years later, when the elephant has grown into a two tonne adult that could easily break the rope, he doesn’t even try because he still holds the belief that he cannot break free.

Like the elephant, we often accept the limiting beliefs that we developed as children without question. We carry these beliefs with us for so long that we forget to challenge them in light of the new capabilities we have as adults.

For example, when Adam was young he didn’t learn how to swim. For many years he simply accepted this limitation as part of who he was. The ‘I can’t swim’ belief became ingrained in Adam’s mind to the point where he no longer questioned it.

It wasn’t until he was 25 that Adam recognized his internal belief for what it really was – a childhood limitation that was needlessly preventing him from enjoying life as an adult.

Adam began swimming lessons at his local pool and within three months he could swim competently. By the end of the year with some additional coaching, he was swimming over a kilometre a day.

Learning to swim also opened up a whole new world to Adam. For the first time in his life, he went to the beach with friends and enjoyed body surfing and having fun in the water. A few months later he began dating a girl who enjoyed sailing, and they had a fantastic time skimming across the surface of the ocean on a catamaran with the wind in their hair.

While Adam enjoyed these new activities, what brought him the most satisfaction was knowing that he had overcome his childhood limitation. Unlike the little elephant, Adam had broken the mental rope that had restricted him in the past and he was now enjoying his newfound freedom.

success bed

Today I’d like to encourage you to identify and challenge the limiting beliefs that you may have developed in the past.

If there is something that you have always wanted to do, then make the decision to break free of your limiting beliefs and get started.

There are whole new worlds of knowledge and experiences just waiting for you to discover. All you need to do is break free of the rope of your limiting belief and begin to take action.

Until next time
Dare To Dream!

The Worry Cloakroom

At some point in time all of us are faced with difficult problems in life. These problems are not the sort of thing that can be easily solved by reading a positive quote on our bathroom mirror.

They are complex real world problems such as seriously ill family members, relationship breakdowns or challenging financial situations.

When we are faced with these types of problems we often analyse them continuously in our mind until we are mentally and physically exhausted. However, despite our exhaustion we find it difficult to sleep and often wake up feeling just as tired as we were the day before.

If this sounds familiar and you are facing a particularly difficult situation today, I’d like to share with you a technique that has helped me get through some tough times in the past with the hope that it may help you too.

The technique is called the ‘Worry Cloakroom’.

worry cloakroom

Whenever you attend a concert or play at a theatre, you have the option to remove your coat and check it into the cloakroom so that you can enjoy the performance without being encumbered by your outer garments.

When the performance is over, you return to the Cloakroom, pick up your coat and step out of the theatre and back into the world you are familiar with.

One of the most useful techniques for dealing with complex real-world problems is to create for yourself a ‘Worry Cloakroom’.

A Worry Cloakroom is a place in your mind where you can ‘check in’ the worries you are dealing with for a period of time, so that you can enjoy an experience without being encumbered by your worries or guilt.

For example, Jackie was attempting to look after her elderly mother. While she loved her mom dearly, the strain of being a full-time carer was really starting to take a toll on her physical and mental well-being.

Whenever Jackie tried to take a break from her duties as a carer she felt extremely guilty and found it very difficult to enjoy the things she used to.

Then a friend told Jackie about the concept of the Worry Cloakroom and she realised that it was actually very important for her to ‘check in’ her worries for a short time in order to take a break and reconnect with the things she enjoyed.

The idea of the Worry Cloakroom appealed to Jackie because it wasn’t the same as abandoning her duties. She was simply ‘checking in’ her worries temporarily in order to enjoy an experience and then she would pick them up again on her way out.

What this meant in the real world was that Jackie arranged for her sister to spend some time with their mother while she went out for a meeting at her local book club.

When she left the house, Jackie imagined herself at the counter of her Worry Cloakroom and ‘checked in’ her worries about her mother and gave herself permission to stop thinking about the situation for a short period of time. She did not feel guilty about doing this because she realised that her worries would be waiting for her at the counter when she returned.

She allowed herself to have a wonderful time at her book club meeting and enjoyed having a coffee with her friends and discussing the latest book they had all been reading.

When she returned home, Jackie imagined herself checking out her worries from the Worry Cloakroom and returning to the familiar world she knew. However, upon her return she was revitalised by her break and felt much better prepared to face the situation at hand.

Today, if you are dealing with a difficult real world problem, I’d like to encourage you to create your own Worry Cloakroom. Make the decision to give your mind and body a break from the constant burden of worry. Identify an activity that brings you joy and schedule it into your timetable.

Give yourself permission to check your worries into your Worry Cloakroom for a period of time. Take a break from your anxiety and enjoy the activity you’ve selected without feeling guilty.

When you complete your activity, you will feel reenergised and much better equipped to return to the situation at hand. And whatever the situation is that you are dealing with, I send you my thoughts, prayers and best wishes.

Until next time,
Dare to Dream.